Thank you Mink, Jink & Tsubaki so much for their help, Mink helped Ryo sound a little more like Ryo and less like Prince Charles. =/  I apologize for any dialogue that seems out of place and here I am without a 18th century French backdrop to hide behind. =)  -Evan-

Hell Hath No Fury

by Evan

  No one was sure exactly how it has started. Sitting about with all the time in the world was certainly no help but the three empty bottles of the worst sake Japan had to offer was the more likely cause.

    Sai was an ill trained drunk. He had the tolerance of an anemic butterfly. This usually played to Rowan's advantage however on this particular night, they were all about to discover that hell hath no fury than a Rowen scorned....

    Sai continued. "Well love you were sort of obnoxious?" He shrugged, grinning foolishly. "And to be honest you and that bow were not much help. I mean honestly, you were hitting people with it!"

    "There's nuthin wrong with my bow!" Rowen said, his jovial manner gone.

    Sai rolled his eyes at the memory. "I realize we were given what the ancient saw reasonable but, love, he might as well have given you a cricket bat the way you tossed the thing about."

    Rowen darkened visibly.

    "Well, I could say a few things about that stupid marshmallow roaster of yours--"

    "That is exactly why I suggested to Ryo we go on without you." Sai said nonchalantly, picking up his sake cup again as if he had recalled something amusing.

    Ryo brightened. "I remember that!" He smiled. "That was when Rowen was in space. Remember? We didn’t know where he was but then I figured out he was in spac-"

    "We remember." Seiji interrupted.

    Rowen blinked slowly. "You WHAT?"

    "I remember it quite vividly." Sai smiled, speaking from his wine-softened heart. "It was in Kyoto by that shrine? Ryo was wondering where on earth you could be and I said "Can’t we just go on without him?"

    Ryo nodded energetically, trying to change the subject. "And then Dais came and beat the tar out of us." He threw a few futile smirks and a nudge in Rowan's direction but Rowan was having one of it. His eyes were locked on Sai.

    "Go on WITHOUT me?!" Rowen repeated in disbelief.

    "Well of course I don’t feel like that now love!" Sai patted his hand absently. " BUT then!" He made a face. "I could have done much better without than WITH you!"

    Rowan scowled. Clearly, he did not get the joke.

    Kento nodded. "I didn’t like you much either." Kento drank down another miniscule ceramic cup of rice wine. "You kept pulling chairs out from under me."

    Sai gulped another thimble, adding to his already aggressive flush. He pointed at Kento for emphasis. "That is precisely the type of behaviour I am referring to Rowen."

    Seiji cleared his throat. "I thought he was a very large mistake on Kaos’s part."

    Rowen fidgeted and chewed at his lip. "ALL of you?"

    Ryo raised his hand tentatively. "I liked you?"

    Rowan threw Sai a disgusted look but Sai was obliviously begging Kento to pour him another cup of wine.

    He got up.

    "Aw c'mon Rowan, where ya going?" Ryo whined.

    "I'm gonna go see what it's like to go on without HIM." Rowan stormed into the hallway. There was the sound of a door slamming. Sai and Kento burst into tears.

    After a few doors slammed and nick nacks were flung, it was quite obvious that all did not bode well.

*        *          *

    "Rowen please!" Sai attempted, pathetically.

    He had been pleading for a good while now but to no avail. He ducked out of the way of the last of his CD collection and grimaced at the cracking sound poor Tori Amos made on the stone drive.

    "Rowen this is childish!" Sai reprimanded when he saw his mattress being stuffed into the open window above. "You are going to feel very silly about this later!" The mattress fell onto the snow-covered shrubs below.

    "How many times to have to say I am very sorry?" Sai pleaded. His clothes fluttered down into icy puddles and nearby trees. "I was awful, I know I was very very awful!"

    His glass fish bowl was being held out into mid air.

    Sai stopped breathing.

    Rowen leaned out and gave him an appraising look.

    Sai frowned. "Don’t do it Rowen."

    Rowen smirked and let go.

    "NOOOOOO!"

    The glass bowl shattered onto the ground sending water spraying and tiny startled gold fish flying.

    Ryo sat in the living room window and watched Sai frantically collecting flopping fish and putting them in a cup of water. "Maybe I should say something?"

    Seiji shrugged behind him. "Best to stay out of it."

    Silently wondering if that was the wisest way to proceed, Ryo yawned. As he made his way to bed, he worried at leaving the vague desperate pleas of Sai and the occasional loud crash of his worldly belongings.

*        *          *

    The morning was refreshingly quiet. Hoping calm had been restored; Ryo slipped into his clothes. Seiji was already awake and gone, his side of the bed neatly made. Ryo did his side in poor imitation and rushed to get his coat. There was one single car amongst the five of them and the early bird got the keys as it were.     

    Ryo quickly got into the car and shoved his cold hands under his arms. He fumbled with the keys for several moments desperate to have the engine on and the heat going.

    A flash in the rear view mirror made him jump out of his own skin.

    "Good morning Ryo."

    It was Sai. A very disheveled looking Sai, bundled in his warmest clothes but still shivering.  His hair was a mess and his lips were blue.

    Ryo blinked at him. "What are you doing out here?"

    Sai shrugged. "I was in the garden shed but a raccoon apparently claimed it first and put up quite a fuss so I slept-"

    "In the car?" Ryo was aghast. "All night?!"

    Sai nodded from the cramped back seat. "It wasn't so bad after it stopped snowing."

    "Why didn't you just go inside?" Ryo had forgotten to be cold.

    Sai looked to the side and appeared embarrassed. "Rowen changed the locks." He muttered.

    Ryo sighed. He thought that had been Seiji taking advantage of the situation.

    Ryo looked down at the passenger seat. "Oh Sai." He bit his lip. "Your fish?"

    Sai looked over in worry at the tone of his voice. "Oh!"

    The cup that had been carefully arranged in the front seat had frozen over, the gold fish included.

    Sai’s eyes teared up. "Oh no." He sniffled.

    "Ah, Sai don’t?" Ryo assured him. He smiled encouragingly and picked the fish cup up in both hands. Very carefully (it wouldn’t do for the water to boil) Ryo warmed it until the fish groggily became to swim again inside their tiny new foster home. "There you see?" He grinned. Ryo had read that fish hibernate in the ice during winter.

    Sai tried very hard to smile as Ryo handed him the cup. "Th-thank you Ryo."

    "Don’t you think this has gotten a bit out of hand?" Ryo tried.

    Sai collapsed back into the seat in a huff. "I don’t care what anyone says!" He glowered and watched his fish swim in the glass. "His bow is ridiculous."

    "Want me to talk to him?" Ryo ventured. Sai shook his head, gazing out the window.

    "Okay. Uh, wanna go to Dunkin Donuts with me? My treat?"

    Sai, who stood on the staunch opposition of Ryo eating gooey pink sweets habitually for breakfast, nodded pathetically.

*        *          *

    Ryo knocked gently on the bedroom door that Sai and Rowen usually shared. "Hello Rowen? Are you in there?"

    A muffled sound which Ryo assumed was a "Piss off" was all he got.

    "Someone wants to talk to you!" Ryo pounded again on the door. "Open up!"

    The lock clicked and the door jerked open.

    Rowen eyed him with a look that said he hadn't seen much sleep. "What do you want?"

    Ryo sighed. "So he said you are worthless!"

    Rowen's eyes narrowed.

    "So what?" Ryo tried to laugh.

    The door slammed closed.

    Ryo turned dejectedly to Sai who sat hundled in his blanket in the stairwell. "Didn't go so well." he explained.

    Sai's face began to crumple into tears.

    Ryo held up his hands in desperation. "Wait!"

    "Wait why?" Sai sniffled and wiped at his eyes with his blanket. "I have no where to sleep but the car and my clothes are probably in the lake by now!"

    Ryo shoved his hands into his jean pockets. "You can stay in our room?" He smiled down to his friend. "And don't worry, we'll work it all out?"

    "You told him he could what?" Seiji repeated calmly.

    Ryo tried to shove the piles of his old sweaters further back into the closet. "We just have to make a little room? He has no where to slee-"

    "What about the couch?' Seiji repeated for the fourth time.

    "I told you, he can't sleep on the couch-"

    "-because he can't sleep within sight of the front door." Seiji finished for him rather coldly.

    "Yeah?" Ryo nervously glanced back at Seiji who was sitting with his arms crossed on the edge of the bed. His icy glare hadn't left his back since he started trying to make closet space for Sai.

    Seiji wasn't finished."That makes no sense."

    Ryo half smiled. "Something about home invasion?"

    Ryo had avoided Sai's move in and Seiji even more. But as the night drew longer and his eyes grew heavy he could avoid their new living situation no longer.

    He opened the door and his breath caught in his throat.

    "Wow."

    Sai wasn't present but Seiji was, and he was laying on the bed with a scowl on his face. The annoyed warrior was surrounded by an array of dimly illuminated fish tanks, a spill of stuffed animals had been shoved out of Seiji's way and now littered the floor and Ryo's side of the bed.

    Ryo tapped a tank and grinned at the pouting blue fish that came to investigate him. "It's kinda cool?"

    Seiji did nothing but glare at him. "This isn't going to work out Ryo."

    "Come on Seiji?" Ryo reasoned as he slipped under the blankets next to him. "It's just some fish tanks and some stupid stuffed-"

    "Hello!!!!"

    Sai burst into the room with a great big smile on his face. "I really can't thank you enough for letting me stay in here?" He climbed onto the bed upsetting a tittering pile of stuffed animals, which fell over onto Seiji's face. Sai settled down between them in bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. "Good night!"

    Seiji stared at Ryo with a cold even look.

    Ryo cleared his throat.

    "Oh Ryo?" Sai asked very nicely. "Could you set the alarm for 4am? And 5am and 6am and 7am? Some of the fish are spawning and need to be fed on a regular schedule!"

    Ryo wordlessly fumbled for the clock.

    "Thank you!" He gave Seiji and then Ryo a brisk kiss on the cheek and then curled up with his stuffed seal and fell to sleep in moments.

    Seiji got up.

    "Where are you going Seiji?" Ryo was sort of discombobulated.

    Seiji grabbed his pillow. "I am sleeping in the car."

*        *          *

    Seiji's back hurt a bit. Sleeping in the car proved to be too much for his tall frame to allow comfortably.

    "And that yell he has?" Sai went on despite the occasional annoyed <flap> of Seiji's newspaper he was hidden behind. "Vacuum break through? I mean what IS that?" Sai sighed.
    Seiji stared very hard at the same sentence he had been reading for the past half an hour.
    "And his hair! Natural he says! As IF! All those hours in the loo with the water going and half the towels in the house gone missing! As if THAT didn't come out of a bottl-"
    Seiji interrupted with a raised hand.
    "Would you like some more tea Seiji?" Sai smiled hopefully. "I just adore talking with you, you listen and care about my feelings." He made a bitter face. "Not like Rowen." He dashed off to put the pot to boil. "We have so much to discuss Seiji." Sai paused thoughtfully at the door, his face drawn in a kind smile. "I want to hear all about it Seiji. Everything."
The newspaper wall lowered slowly and Seiji's eyebrow raised involuntarily. "I want to become one with YOUR feelings Seiji." Sai assured him clasping his hands. "I want to know the real you." Sai nodded solemnly. "I want you to know that I am here for you, and I am the vessel in which to pour your soul."
    Sai grabbed Seiji's face in a firm grasp of a therapists conviction and kissed Seiji's forehead. With a profound look Sai backed away and went to conjure more steaming hot tea.
    Seiji carefully put down his paper and quietly exited the house.

    Ryo bit at his lip and uncrossed his arms. It was a bad habit, crossing his arms every time he felt uncomfortable. Sai had pointed it out to him that it was an "emotional road sign that indicated unease."
    Messing with his hair instead Ryo thought he may look even more agitated. The thought of appearing uneasy, made Ryo feel ill  at ease so he crossed his arms back over his chest.
    "But how?" Ryo finally asked. Seiji tended to do that. Reduce him to very simple questions and answers. When? Why? No. Okay. Please. Stop. Good night.
    Seiji made a small sound that Ryo thought may have been angry. "Maroon them on an island." Seiji told him. "Lock them into a meat freezer."
    Ryo felt his mouth quirk into a smile. Seiji wasn't easily lead to flights of fancy. Getting Sai and Rowen back onto speaking terms wasn't exactly what Ryo had expected Seiji to propose.
    Seiji rubbed the back of his forefinger absently under his lower lip. "Maybe a mutual loss."
    "It will work out Seiji?" Ryo said with feigned brightness. "They can't keep at it-"
    "THAT'S MINE!"
    Ryo winced at the sound of Sai's voice. He turned. Rowen was standing calmly (a bit too calmly which lead Ryo to believe Rowen had been at the flu syrup again) at the base of the stairs. He looked to Sai, who was busy in the process of trying to yank the over sized gray knit Rowen was wearing, over the archer's head.
    "GIVE. IT. BACK!" Sai was pulling one sleeve to its limit, maybe hoping to rip the thing off of Rowen's body. "I MADE THAT."
    "It was a gift." Rowen retorted. "December, 1998, to: ROWEN, from: SAI." He yanked the sleeve back, sadly forever stretched out of shape. "ITS MINE, would never stand up in court." Rowen flicked the end of his overstretched sleeve at Sai for affect.
    Sai turned flushed pink and launched himself at the other sleeve."MINE!!!!!"
    Ryo sighed and turned back to Seiji. "An island huh?"


    Seiji had been silent after that, finally drifting away as the sweater fight grew so loud that Kento wandered out to shush them from the television room.
    Rowen stubbornly kept the ridiculously stretched thing on, flipping the long arms over his shoulders like a straight jacket and stalking back up the steps.  Sai swung to glare at Ryo because there was no one else to glare at and he wasn't quite finished.
    "I can't stand this anymore!" He snarled. "How can you just SIT There! Like a, like a..."
    Ryo frowned unhappily and fidgeted.
    "....Like some sort of LUMP!?!! It's isn't right!!! That was MINE."
    Ryo thought frantically of something calm and good to say. Perhaps something that would put Sai at ease. Unfortunately, all that came out of his mouth was no help at all.
    "I think it really was a gift? Last Christma-"
    "AHHhHHHHHhhH!!" Sai shrieked in frustration and stormed off towards the kitchen.

    Ryo lay alone in his room, the evening too early for even Sai to have been called to bed, and much to late for Seiji to have remained after his late afternoon mediations. A landslide of stuffed animals had been shoved off the end of the bed, half burying the opposite wall and the window sill. With a tired sigh, Ryo turned his head to watch the myriad of fish that lived in the round tank Sai had placed on Ryo's night table. It was leaking all over the place and making an awful mess.
    Ryo made a pained face as he tipped over his digital clock and a clear stream of water poured out onto the floor. Seiji was right, this wasn't going to work.
    "That one always leaks." Rowen said and startled Ryo. "I fixed it last week but it must have broken when Sai-" Rowen paused with a deep intake of breath. "Moved."
    "Oh." Ryo put down his clock, surprised at Rowen's presence. He hadn't seen much of Rowen in the last few days.
Rowen shifted in the doorway and cleared his throat. "Very cozy." He kicked at a brightly coloured plush woodstock on the floor.
    Ryo half smiled. "Yeah, it's eh, kinda crowded."
    There was an uncomfortable silence.
    Ryo bit at his lip. "He's really missed you?" He tried. "He just keeps talking about how he wishes you'd ask him back?" Ryo could feel his face glow red, he was really a terrible lair.
    Rowen scowled down at him, not believing a word.
    Ryo gave up. "Look?" He sat up and put his elbows on his knees in resignation. "Don't you want the fish and the tanks and all these," Ryo picked up a fluffy elephant and threw it, "THINGS back in your room with you?"
    For a moment, Ryo was certain Rowen was going to say yes, he looked awfully lonely looking down at the cheerful Woodstock. But it passed as quickly as it came."No." Rowen sniffed. "It's been kinda peaceful without 'im." He turned and
walked back to his room.
    Ryo waded through the animals to watch Rowen shut his own door down at the end of the hallway and smiled. Maybe Seiji was right, maybe Sai and Rowen just needed a bit of prodding in the right direction.
    "Ryo!" Sai was quite suddenly and shockingly there. "I am so glad you are here, will you help me with something please?"
    "Uh sure Sai?" Ryo stumbled backwards as Sai shoved a pile of magazines in his arms.
    "Oh good!" Sai beamed. "It's Monday and I have to do all the glamour mag quizzes!"
    Ryo blinked as Sai flopped onto the bed and ripped through a fashion mag. "By the way Ryo, I am awfully sorry I called you a lump?" Sai looked guilty.
    "Oh," Ryo shifted in place, his hand behind his head. "That's okay Sai."
    "Now!" Sai began pen in hand. "What is your dream date? A trip to the zoo, a romantic night in front of the fireplace or drive out in the country?"
    "I don't really think I-"
    "Rowen usually does them with me?" Sai cast his eyes downward. "But-but-"
    Ryo quickly struggled to think of an appropriate answer. "Eh, zoo?"
    Sai looked at him disapproval.
    "Fireplace?" Ryo tried again.
    "Good!" Sai exclaimed. "Now, if you were to do your prom all over again, would you wear strapless or straps?"
    The prodding had to begin as soon as possible, Ryo thought, as he pondered the question.

    After confessing his least favourite Spice Girl and then shortly thereafter admitting he had never once waxed, Ryo had had quite enough. He and Sai had thoroughly evaluated their dream dates, their perfect prom nights, whether they were smitties, compulsives, flirts and overeaters.
    Evening had fallen.
    Ryo was involved in his pocket video game, Sai finishing up the tally to the latest quiz.
    "Well, that's that Ryo." Sai closed his issue of Glamour authoritatively. "You prefer the quiet type which is very suitable seeing as you are a Leo which is a fire sign and you should try to meet your deadlines on the 15th because that is when you will have great financial opportunities in your work place--"
    "Yeah?" Ryo mumbled absently. He glanced out the window. "Hey, what time is it?"
    Sai picked up the digital alarm and shook it when it didn't seem to work.
    "Ryo, your clock is soaking wet!"
    "I got some money, want to rent some videos?" Ryo was desperate to escape the pile of magazines and the possible offer of a carrot yogurt facial. An arm full of movies were the only thing to get Ryo out of the arm full of glamour exams. Thankfully, Sai nodded. Ryo picked up his sweater.
    "Cool, I wanna catch that new Chow Yun Fat movie."
    "Oh ick Ryo." Sai made a face. "Wouldn't you rather an Ingrid Bergman?"
    "Who?"
    "Rage in Heaven? Under Capricorn? Joan of Arc?"
    "Oh yeah!" Ryo brightened. "I've heard of that Joan chick!"
    Sai went for the car keys in disgust.


    So off to the video shop they went.
    "What is this?" Ryo asked as Sai retrieved another film from the shelf.
    "Really Ryo," Sai rolled his eyes, "You've never seen Casablanca?"
    "No." Ryo wrinkled his nose at the old black and white cover. "Ahh! It's not even in colour??!" He looked longingly at the festive John Woo boxes.
    "Of course it isn't!" Sai said.
    "What about this one?" Ryo attempted, picking another edition of the ancient film from the rack.
    "Casablanca colourized?" Sai snorted. "You don't watch Casablanca in that awful fake colour love, it just isn't right." He took a moment to think of how to make Ryo understand. "It is like watching a taped video of a foot ball game when you standing right outside the stadium. What's the point?"
    Ryo nodded in profound understanding, and replaced the video. "How do you know so much about Casablanca anyway Sai?"
    "I have seen it so many times." Sai shrugged. "It's Ro-Ro-Rowen's favou-fav- fa-" Sai teared up and buried his face into Ryo's jacket shoulder in a heart felt wail.
    Ryo looked about them in a panic unsure of what to do with a public break down. "Eh, come on Sai?" Ryo ushered him to the counter. "Let's go home?"

    "Would you like to watch a film with us Seiji?" Sai asked politely as he wiped at his wet face with his sleeve.
    Seiji exchanged a look with Ryo, which Ryo wasn't sure he understood.
    Sai hiccuped on his sob. "Ro-Ro-Ro-Ro-"
    "Rowen and him used to watch it all the time." Ryo finished for him.
    "WAAHHHHHHH!"
    "No." Seiji said.
    Ryo shrugged and patted Sai on the shoulder.
    Seiji considered them both. "No thank you." And he was gone out the door.
    "Wh-where's he of-off to?" Sai asked as he blew his nose into the tissue Ryo handed him.
    Ryo felt uneasy again. "I don't know." Was Seiji up to something? "Do you want pop corn Sai?"
    Sai looked at him for a moment and then burst into tears again. "RO-RO-RO-"
    "Likes pop corn?" Ryo sighed. Whatever Seiji was going to do, he hoped he'd do it quickly.

*        *          *

    He had gotten a bit more taken with the film than he had intended.

    Ryo thought the entire affair didn't quite add up. Cold empty marriage verses Bogart and maybe having to live above a smoky pub? Well, needless to say, when she turned and walked onto that airplane, Ryo was very disgusted.  "I woulda stayed." He grumbled. "I mean what's wrong with her!" Ryo demanded to know. But Sai was sleeping soundly opposite on the couch.

    He was about to get up very quietly and switch the television off when Seiji appeared in the doorway Ryo held his finger to his lips. As if Seiji made a lot of noise anyway, but better to be safe than sorry.

    "He isn't going to wake up Ryo," Seiji said.

    Ryo swung in a panic, sure Sai's eyes would flutter open and demand more Vogue glam mag quizzes.

    Seiji pointed to the half empty glass of blue kool aid by Sai's hand. Ryo had foregone the drink because he didn't trust drinking anything that looked too much like antifreeze.

    Kool aid? Ryo turned back to Seiji in shock. "Seiji!" He frowned. "That isn't very nice!" Seiji had spiked the kool aid with a sleep aid.

    Seiji shrugged. "Help me get him into the boot, I have a plan."

    Ryo chewed at his lip. "We aren't going to leave him out by the highway are we?"

    Seiji said nothing.



    Sai wasn't sure what kind of game this was supposed to be but he had gotten sort of bored. He couldn't sing to himself because someone had stuffed a rag in his mouth (at least it was clean) so all he could do was hum. The blindfold was a bit itchy and someone had thoughtfully put him in his coat but it was a bit thin for the drafty cold place he was sitting in.

    From the carefully tied knots to the pillow carefully provided to keep his bum from the cold concrete floor, their was no doubt that Seiji was behind this. Usually when this sort of thing happened he wasn't left alone, Seiji usually was near by and with ill intent. And when Sai slowly had woken up, he feared just that, growling and thrashing about. But he was alone. What a terrible week. Thought Sai. He hunkered down into his coat, hoping maybe he'd be discovered before night fall.

    Seiji handed a tattered piece of paper to Rowen and sighed. "I think you had better read this."

    Rowen took the paper and examined it. "What is this?"

    "A ransom note."

    "A ransom note?" Rowen regarded Seiji dubiously.

    "As indicated by a sum of money demanded or the eminent infliction of harm on the said, abductee." Seiji helpfully pointed out, by tapping the carefully pasted letters which spelled: £10000 OR THE SAI GETS IT.

    "Only £10000 ?" Rowen asked.

    Seiji explained. "You have to account for depreciation."

    "Uh yeah?" Ryo offered. "The world being already saved and all?"

    Rowen considered. "Well, this is terrible!" He announced, going to fetch his coat.

    "Yes?" Ryo said, helping him into his coat. "Someone really ought to do something about it?"

    "He is probably very scared." Rowen insisted.

    "And cold?" Ryo said opening the door.

    "And blindfolded and gagged." Seiji add, holding out the car keys.

    "And well, I know you both are sort of busy so I shall just be going then?" Rowen explained as he left.

    "Try the address on the note!" Ryo called after him. "I think it may be a clue!"

    The car sped away.

    Seiji and Ryo looked at each other.

    "I'll start shoveling out the stuffed animals?"

    "I'll move the tanks."

    the end

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