The Picnic
by Jink, Kayura and Evan =)

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    "Ro-channnnnnn" Sai played with Rowen's ear as he slept. "Roo channnnn?"

    Rowen slapped at his hand in his sleep and made a very annoyed sound. Sai tried a gentle tickling about the ribs but that just made Rowen roll over. He tried turning the radio up very loud while simultaneously slamming doors but this also had little effect.

    Like the magic tricks Sai had seen on telly, he tried to whip the blanket out from under him but he also whipped Rowen right off the bed with a heavy thud.

    Rowen snored on.

    Sai sighed and rolled Rowen in his bed room rug, took hold of the edge and dragged him down the hallway, down the steep steps, out to the car, and propped him up still rolled up in the front seat like a mob killing.

    Sai smiled up at the sun. It was a wonderful day.

    Ryo was sleeping on the sofa from the evening before with the remote still firmly attached to his hand.

    "Ryo?" Sai shook him awake. "Come Ryo, there is a foot ball game playing in the car?"

    "F-ffott wha?" Ryo let himself be lead out side and sat down in a daze in the back seat looking about with his remote.

    Sai got into the driver's seat with a victory fist, started the engine, and sped down the road.

    The rolled carpet next to him started to twitch. "Wha where hey!" Rowen struggled, popping his mussed-up blue head out.

    Ryo came up between the seats. "I don't see any foot ball-"

    "Because there isn't!!!" Sai laughed deviously. "We are going on a picnic!!!"

    Realizing they had been duped, they abruptly panicked.

    Rowen swore and sulked in his carpet when he realized that escape was futile.

    Ryo groaned and collapsed into the back, arms crossed. "How come Seiji doesn't have to go!"

    "He is!" Sai gestured behind him. "In the boot!"

    They all heard dull, angry thumping coming from said boot.

    "I put him in there myself!" Sai said proudly.

    They looked at him doubtfully.

    "Okay, I paid the plumber?"

    Sai switched the radio on to the oldies station where the Carpenters were singing a song loud and long. Sai hummed with the music and tapped his hands on the wheel while Rowen struggled even more feverishly with the carpet and Ryo tried looking for alternate means of escape. After Sai had played the entire soundtracks to Godspell, Annie, Les Mis and Phantom consecutively, they reached a sunny meadow lush with green grass and bright with daffodils. Majestic oak trees surrounded the clearing and there was even a small, glittering pond. It was a heavenly scene.

    "We're heeeeere!" Sai announced, opening the front door. "Ryo, will you please take the picnic basket?"

    Ryo woke from his numbed sleep and sullenly picked up the heavy wicker basket while Sai stepped carefully over daisies trying to pick a spot to lay the blanket on.

    Sai returned to the car, looked at the wedged, carpet-bound Rowan, placed his foot firmly against him and shoved. Rowen spilled out of the car, and rolled down the hill, resting quite comfortably next to the blanket with a thud.

    A muffled "Ow!" was heard.

    "Shall we?" Sai opened the picnic basket, ignoring the vulgarities pouring from the carpet.

    A few minutes later, Sai sat peacefully on the yellow and pink picnic blanket he had carefully laid out on the grass, a thin cucumber sandwhich in his fingers. Sparkling white wine bubbled in tall plastic flutes, smoked salmon h'or devours surrounded more finger sandwiches. Sai proudly set down a pristine white plate of tiny yellow sponge cakes filled with fresh strawberries and cream. Ryo sighed at the absence of Budweiser and corn dogs.

    Rowen ground his teeth and sulked.

    The car boot was silent but volatile.

    "Do at least try some Ryo?" Sai encouraged, pushing a plate of sandwiches forward. "My mums always say food tastes better when eaten in Mother nature's parlor." He petted a shy fawn who had wandered timidly over to nibble the grass beside him. Ryo looked troubled, holding his dainty sandwich awkwardly between two fingers. He quickly lost control.

    "Uh dude?" He bit his lip. "My sandwich thing just fell on the ground."

    Sai's smile faltered slightly at the handiwork he had spent all morning preparing.

    "Um, er, give it to Rowen? He doesn't mind."

    Rowen wiped the ants and dirt off of it and smiled weakly.

    Sai dug through the yellow wicker basket and came up with a small black plastic tray and two chopsticks. He walked over to the car and cautiously opened the trunk a crack.

    "Oh Seiiiiji!" He sang. "I brought your favorite awful seaweed and icky raw fish for you?"

    A low menacing growl emanated from the depth of the trunk. Sai quickly snapped the lid shut again.

    "Ahem, would anyone care for icky raw fish and seaweed?"

    Ryo shrugged and held out his hand. He devoured the sushi in one gulp.

    Sai was rummaging through the basket.

    "Since we are not all nature lovers, I brought along some board games? Would anyone care to play reversi?"

    "I'd care to kick your ass, Sai!" Rowen spoke up from the rug. Sai rolled his eyes.

    "Love, it has been a half hour. Get out of that ridiculous rug!"

    Rowen did.

    "AHHHH!" Sai yelped. "Rowen get back into that rug! You are naked!"

    "Whose fault is that?" Rowen lay back on the rug and stretched, mainly to irk Sai. "You always wanted me to appreciate an absence of human necessities!"

    "I meant Playstation and telly!"

    "That's not necessity?" Ryo's eyes were wide.

    Sai sulked.

    Ryo slapped at some mosquitos.

    Rowen chewed on some clover and eyed the nearby pond that had a rainbow trailing in it and sparkling butterflies sipping at a small water fall.

    Ryo met his look.

    They both ran screaming for it, Ryo stripping as they went and leapt in drowning the butterflies and causing a wave of water to soak a small content herd of fluffy bunny rabbits.

    Sai sighed and, because the call of the wild was too great and Rowen was nude and splashing, he grudgingly followed suit.

    After many playful hours of playful splashing and fending off Rowen's well-meaning gropes, Sai made to retrieve his neatly folded clothing he had left on some rocks. Instead, he found a note.

    "Thanks for the clothes and the food, your car keys are in the toilet?"

    Sai crumpled it in his fist with an angry shout. "OH! Someone has nicked our clothes!"

    "And my rug." Rowen noted calmly.

    "Those were my last clean pair of boxers." Ryo lamented.

    Rowen lit up. "I got it! Let's go over to the nearest high school."

    Sai scowled. "Rowen! For one thing that is awful! For another it is Saturday!

    Rowen sagged a little.

    "Let's at least go home like this?" He begged. He stretched his lean muscles and made a big show. "Always wanted to roll into town like the way I made my debut!"

    Sai was adamant.

    "Never! We shall wait right here for those awful children to realize their mistake, return all of our clothing and apologize"

    Ryo was already on his way back to the car.

    "You do that, Sai."

    Rowen followed and waved.



    Sai set about tailoring the empty picnic basket into suitable attire, While  Ryo, having reached the car, cracked the lid of the boot.

    "Seiji? Are you wearing clean underwear?"

    A deep growl rumbled from inside.

    "Hey Ryo," Rowen breathed out a ring of smoke, "Don't put your hand in there, or you'll find out why Sai calls those things finger sandwiches."

    The car rocked violently, and Ryo quickly shut the lid. He exchanged a glance with Rowen.

    "Well dude, not like it can get any--"

    "NO!" Rowan cried. "Don't say it!"

   CRAAAAAAAASSSSHHHHHHH!

    A loud thundercrack ripped across the sky.

    "Thanks, Ryo." Rowen paused mid-puff to observe the dark clouds that had gradually rolled in all afternoon. "This is all your fault."

    Sai plodded back to the car, his lips set in a blatant pout. Rowen reached up and opened the lid of Sai's basket suit. Sai slapped his hand away.

    "I don't think those awful children are coming back," his voice a near sob. He straightened up, "Well, which one of you is going to fish the keys from the loo?"

    Rowen fidgeted, and looked at Ryo who was using his full weight to hold the boot lid closed. Sai felt the first droplets of rain then. He turned his eyes skyward.

    "Grand," he sighed.

    Sai turned on his heel and marched towards the old, battered, too-well used loo. Rowen dropped his cigarette in the grass and lit another, trusting the coming rainstorm to put it out, and gestured for Ryo to follow. Rowen caught up to Sai, catching him by the basket handle.

    "No, please, don't trouble yourselves," Sai huffed.

    "It's no trouble, Sai," Rowen smirked, "No sense waiting out in the rain."

    Rowen pulled open the door, shuffling Sai inside, and shutting the door on Ryo. Ryo yanked open the door.

    "Funny, Rowen."

    The three stood in a small circle in the outdoor loo staring down at the unspeakably awful toilet. The rain was coming down in sheets and it was dark as night in the middle of the afternoon. It was very cold.

    "I think I see the keys." Ryo said forlornly.

    Rowen flicked his cigarette over his shoulder. "Yes."

    "Well?" Sai fidgeted. "Who is going to get them?"

    Silence.

    "What is going on here?!"

    All three looked up in shock. Ryo hid himself behind Rowen and Sai covered his chest while the basket did the rest.

    A soccer mum was standing in disbelief covering the eyes of her giggling daughter. "This is the LADIES room!!!"

    They glanced guiltily at the worn image of the stick figure in the dress. For some reason, it had not seemed important until now.

    Sai stammered. "You don't understand!! Some awful children tossed our car keys in this toilet-"

    "Might have been her!" Rowen's eyes narrowed accusingly at the little girl who was having a fit of laughter.

    Ryo spoke up loudly from behind Rowen. "Lady, we're trying to get them back so we can all be naked at home!"

    The red-faced mother managed to look even more on the verge of combustion.

    Sai groaned.

    "Please don't help us, Ryo." He made to apologize for Ryo's clumsy choice of words but the over-offended woman was already on her cell phone.

    "I do hope you know your type isn't setting a very good example!" She snapped her cel phone off.

    Rowen shot back. "Well, your type shouldn't drive mini vans! And the Keds jesus, all we had was a few parades."

    She clutched her Walmart knock off purse. "The nerve! You all lurking about in here doing God knows what with no clothes on!!"

    "Nonono!" Sai assured her. "Seiji is locked in the boot!"

    Thunderous banging was heard from inside the boot. Before the woman could manage another offended shriek, a higher sound of urgency rang in the distance.

    Ryo tensed. "Uhh, are those sirens?"

    Rowen knew better than to confirm. "RUN!"

    They ran.

    "Perverts!" She yelled after them.

    The door opened with an exhausted creak and they all piled in breathlessly.

    Ryo and Rowen both could not stop laughing and making a fuss. The naked dash home had more than invigorated them. Sai was miserable and beyond humility.

    His teeth were chattering and his lips were slightly blue with cold. He cursed himself. It had all started out a lovely plan. All he'd ever wanted to do was to sit and eat finger sandwiches in a nice, quiet meadow for one afternoon. Not trusting either Ryo or Rowen to have a thought for comfort and their nice clean floor, he headed to the bathroom and got a towel to dry
himself. He felt a little better with the kettle on and clothed in his favorite yellow bathrobe, settled in front of the TV.

    Ryo and Rowen were both still naked on the couch. They seemed to want to cling to as much of the day's memorable antics as possible.

    Sai sighed and clicked on the news. Kenji Kawabata was behind his desk, shuffling through the day's local headlines.

    "This just in. A nude man was found locked in the trunk of a car abandoned just outside the grounds of a local high school. Authorities have identified the man as Date Seiji. Further investigation..."

    Sai lit a cigarette. "Oh bloody hell."

    The end!

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