10/21/03

Just had shitty Thai food and not so shitty cheesecake with rum and coke. Jo is composing a song about assbeads and I am listening to salsa. Am now ready to recount events as they happened. -Jink

DAY ONE

Jink: Arrived ahead of schedule in Chicago on no sleep. Jammed gigantic suitcase into the tiny Vincent Price wood paneled elevator and knocked on Mink/Winni's door. No answer. Leaned against suitcase and fought off coma. Winni arrived shortly wearing classy neon green chanclas and newly painted deep red sexed up toes and fingers. Many hugs and Publix love later, we were eating awesome fries and grilled veggie quesadillas (which I had wrapped up but forgot on the seat) and talking about stuff.

Went to the Japanese market and stocked up on Olga chow. Lichee gummies and pocky. Went to three convenient stores before scoring the right kind of spicy Cheez-its. Apparently they are contraband in Chicago.

Mink: No. I FOLLOWED Kirsten/Jink to three different stores in her cheez-it rage.

Jink: After doing all gross and unsavory last minute duties (laundry and dishes) we invited Emily over to bring the shirts and drink. She forgot them. We watched Queer Eye, giggled ravenously and Emily vowed to be over by 9 AM the next day with the Minkland Yaoi shirts she was storing for us.

Okay! More vodka.

DAY TWO

10:30 AM

Mink: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! EMILY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOOOUUUU?

Em finally did arrive with the shirts to our relief. We bade her farewell and hopped a cab to catch our 2 PM flight.

Jink: Flight uneventful. Tried to fall into a 3 hour coma but it didn't work.

Mink: I had a window seat so I stared at mountain ranges and day dreamed about crashing into the snowy peaks and thought about who I'd eat first.

Jink: Met Olga at SFO and groped her happily. Jo called to say Tammy and Craig were held up in the wilds of Vancouver fending off wild moose and squirrels with hard maple candies and chunks of dried ramen. They were delayed but would be in later that night. We found a cab and hightailed it to the Renaissance Parc 55. It was a sprawling affair of a hotel. After checking in, we located Jo's mum and a bleached blonde Zamber. Happiness and cigarettes ensued. Jo's mum, ever fabulous and ready for a drink had already broken into the Jack Daniels. Gaped in awe at Zamber's magnificent spread of original drawings and prints. She'd even crafted a statuette of Wufei in a duck suit. I placed early dibs on a fab print of a spiky haired dude. Called Susan and inquired after the books. They had been picked up but would not arrive until morning.

Went to hotel room and chilled out.

Mink: Jo's mum was well into the Jack Daniels and as always, great fun to be around. She is always there to cig us and booze us! : D

Jink: It was some time later before three awesome accents invaded our space.

Jo's loud Aussie lilt was the first sound to reach us followed by the dulcet tones of very exhausted Portuguese.

Helm and Alex. And with them every fabulous European nuance that ever there was. Helm was a vision for someone who had just endured a 5 hour connection, a 14 hour flight and immigration at SFO. She wore a ruffled skirt, dark brown top with long, flowy sleeves and leather boots. She whipped out a bottle of port from her hometown and made her presence known in a flurry of Portuguese cursing.

She delivered every expectation and more.

We hugged and gave the double cheek kiss as Mediterraneans are wont to do. Alex stood in the background wearing flannel, carrying all the bags like a good Sherpa. Helm had arrived with an entire suitcase full of homemade doujinshi, postcards and prints. She gave me a complimentary copy and I stared at it in awe.

Lest I forget, her art is astounding.

Mink: Saw Pam/PL Nunn as she swung by to pick up books and give Jo a portrait of Simon Le Bon. She was groped. Saw Zamber in her new blond hairdo. She still dresses cooler than anyone I know. Who else can wear camo fanny packs and not look like a southern survialist? No one.

Jink: Helm proceeded to curse out her cel phone while we mingled with Jo's mom and mixed drinks with neon pink flamingo swizzle sticks. The rest of the night was spent waiting for Tammy, Craig and Grace to arrive. Tammy finally called and was demanded over. She promised to make her appearance after she and Craig rinsed off their rugged Canadian travel dust. They arrived with Grace and were met with much love and cheers. More drinks were had. Cigs smoked. Love exchanged. We all hugged Craig and stared up at his belt buckle. Even Jo. The dude was quite tall.
After much gossiping, giggling and vodka, we all crashed into a coma at 3 AM.

DAY THREE

Jink: Woke up around noon and dressed to go down to the wharf with Tammy, Grace, and Craig. Olga remained in a coma and would meet us later with Marla. Had fabulous crepes for breakfast and watched sea lions bawl at each other for space. The sky was clear and warm and couldn't be more perfect. Was joined later by Olga and her friend Marla. More crepes were had.

Umm...don't remember much more about the wharf except the crepes and sea lions.

Mink: Crippled birds. Shaved ice. Grace's bat phone. Unseasonable 100F weather in a town I only packed sweater and coats for. BLAH ON YOU San Fran, BLAH!

Jink: Went back to hotel. Located Susan and Tracy zipping like mad around the dealer's room trying to set up. Found the boxes with the Minkland anthologies and the Wanderers books. Ripped into the mutherfuckers like it weren't no thang.

Mink: They are sexy sexy books. (except for the last page grrrrrr)

Jink: Setup time arrived. We lugged all our shit over to the dealer's room and arranged it tastefully on two tables to Brit pop. Snagged a few Pam doujinshi and prints early. She comes up with more hot shit every year. Who needs to eat? Later attended Minkland the Gathering graciously allotted by Tracy who even managed to make an appearance before being whisked back into con madness.. I had gone out to snag some more drinks and snacks. Arrived at the Minkland gathering with two 7-11 bags and a boom box. It was like a fuckin yaoi AA meeting.

"Hey everybody, this is Jink!"

"HI JINK!"

I mixed and mingled. Met many fabulous Minkchatters. The very talented and fabulous Aisha, the bubbly T. Kitty & Mom, Tara, Wiggle, Madame Blue, TotallyRockin and Ella (Roninbrat) to name a few. Alexis arrived with all her highlights perfectly aligned. A glass was immediately shoved into her hand. We drank, snacked, rocked out and discussed future fic ideas. Ronins takin warlords to the prom, how the hell had we missed that all these years? After more drinks and giggling, we were finally thrown out by the Yaoi-con staff and told to get the fuck out and into bed. So we packed up the stuff, took up the boombox and hit the hay.

Mink: Once again, I thought the minkland thing was gonna be Kir and me staring at each other, but for a private Tracy-invite only affair there were many dudes! I even spanked one of them. (Hi Moth!) We drank, we laughed, we snapped bras, all was grand.

DAY FOUR

Mink: Woke bright eyed and bushy tailed and headed to the dealers room. George Bush's face was on the mannequin that was wearing one of our yaoi shirts. I noticed people looked at him and a) got disgusted and fled, b) had no reaction at all, c) laughed hysterically.

Many giggly people stopped to take pictures of the Ronin Warrior action figures (Thanks Zamber!) we had arranged in various poses on the table. Kale was blowing Seiji for like 48 hours.(Who knew that the Seiji action figure could actually HOLD on to the horns on Kale's helmet??) We sold many books, Wanderers and Minkland, and I even convinced a few boys to buy a baby doll shirt instead of the reg types. They were tiny and Japanese and cute. It's a really good thing that Alexis and me were never in highschool together. All that bitch does is make me laugh and distract me. Oh, apparently there was a memo sent out that all of Minkland was going to dress as slutty school girls but I alone missed it. The short plaid shirts, knee high socks and mary janes abounded.

Jink: We'll never see Cammy/Tsubaki in pigtails and a mini again EVER.

Woke to cel phone ringing next to my head and Grace telling me to get the fuck out of bed and downstairs. Hastily threw on some schoolgirlish gear and headed downstairs. I spent most of my time helping Zamber and Helm pimp their wares. My mouth wasn't much needed. Zamber's spread of magnets and homemade wares snagged most attentions if Helm's naked torso prints failed to.

Helm made very good progress and soon got into the swing of selling her own goods. Her elf postcard sets sold out that day (and she was worried!) as did the remainder of her "Aoshi" comics and assorted color postcard sets. She also sold out of one of her prints, and half of her handmade Lord of the Rings doujinshi. I was very proud of her and the reaction she got. We bounced to Garbage, hawked cock and gave out free blow pops. Tammy drew me a naked picture of my favorite boy ever, Nisan. I gotta scan that ass. Damn.

Mink: Went out to dinner. 100 bucks of garlic crab legs. Marla had a white fluffy tail. Nuff said.

Jink: Came back from crab to peek at the bishonen auction. It was smelly and hot and had lots of screaming for dudes who were eh, all that? Didn't stay long. Found Tracy and dragged her hot corseted self up to the room for a drink. Changed into black number and rustled up Olga for the con dance. We bopped to old school JPOP and touched goods for free. We met a very cool belly dancer chick who knew Winni from somewhere in the past. We got back upstairs and chatted with Tammy and Helm until we passed out.

Mink: I got drunk and hung out with da girls. Julie, Marla, Alexis, Amy/Aisha and more… T-kitty said she was a wet pussy. Made a very interesting face to represent said wet pussy. We all decided what kinds of pussy we truly were….deep down inside. Eww.

DAY FIVE

Mink: Slow day but I managed to reach and exceed my goal of how many books I wanted to sell at the con so… \ " / For two days I stared at the table opposite us, which had a Cosplaying Goth Rowan manning the DJs! Aka Ro. She looked hot. And Dana and her friend Jeff. Watched many Cosplayers wander by. Some interesting, some scary, some confusing, some shirtless.

I bought some bestiality porn, a bondage Ryo with the words "FUCK TOY" behind him, and ogre rape from Pam (gotta love the PL Nunn), the Shonen book from Scooter and David (that vampire story is still making me giggly), and some Umbrella yum. (Liz, wolf boys!!! Wow… *stares at it some more*)

I met and spoke with Jo Chen when she looked around our table. I did not know of her but everyone seemed to know her very well. (I talk to everyone) I only later learned of her fame. She looked at our book, and well, wow. I wonder if she liked it.

Carrie/Faris popped outta no where at the table. She is an old minkchat dude (well, she's young, but she's been chatting for a while) and started art school in San Fran like that month. Having met her last con and not expecting her at this one I was thrilled as a clam to see her.

She spent the week off and on with us while we post con-ed at another hotel.

Jink: The remainder of the con was spent bidding farewell at different intervals. Helm and Alex did a lot of sightseeing and didn't want to leave. The time at the Andrews was spent drinking, rooftop smokes, discussing future projects, and watching the Buffy musical with Cammy/Tsubaki, Carrie and Jo. We visited the Disney store on the corner. Jo bought a Stitch plushie and Mink/Winnie looked fabulous in Cruella Deville's awesome cosplay puppy coat. We went to the Wharf Aquarium and gaped at huge clouds of anchovy swimming above our heads in the walk-through glass tank. Met Sparky the electric ray. We groped slimy slimes in the petting pool and chatted with the very helpful aquarium staff.

Mink: Worst case scenario. Is this slimy wacky thing gonna fly outta the tank and attack my face?

Staff Lady: The worst case scenario is you'll fall in the petting pool and look like an asshole.

Mink: Bring it on.

Jink: Thus ended our 2003 Yaoi Con bliss. Our hands in slime, our heads in assbeads and our lips on DJ.

Mink: See ya next year dudes! Btw, wanna DJ? : P