Welcome one and all to our presentation of...


 

Cast: Frank-n- Furter -Rowen Hashiba
Janet Weiss -Sai Mouri
Brad Majors -Ryo Sanada
Riff Raff -Anubis
Magenta -Kayura
Columbia -Mia
Dr. Everett V. Scott -Kaos
Rocky Horror -Sage Date
Eddie -Kento Fung
The Criminologist -Talpa

*The Movie Begins with Kayura's lips appearing on the screen and starting to sing*

Kayura (Lips): Anubis was ill
The day the dynasty fell
But he told us how to win (with the staff)
And Sage Date was there
In silver underwear (they were gold)
And Dais was the illusionist man (where'd he go?)
Then something went wrong
For they were all strong (in what?)
They got in the Dynasty trap (and what a trap it was)
Then at a deadly pace it came from (echo: I came on) ("Where"?)
Outer Space (Yuli's face) (Thank you)
And this is how the message ran (Echo: and this is how the Semen ran)
Chorus: Science Fiction, Ronin Feature
Rowen's Tech will build a creature
See footmen fighting (and fucking and sucking on) Sai and Ryo
And they all get to fuck the Janet (Sai: Hey now. They do not!)
At the late night double feature Ronin Show.

Kayura (Lips): I knew they were in Peril
When Rowen read Lewis Carroll
And he took all those energy pills
And I really got hot when I saw Kaos fought (Ryou's Cock)
Big Talpa who can't talk and can't kill (A penis that spit semen and thrills)
And those big ugly dudes are rather rude
And Rowen has all of the skills
But when worlds collide
They get messed up all the time
So I'm going to give this horrible fic
And a

Chorus: Science Fiction, Ronin Feature
Rowen's Tech will build a creature
See footmen fighting (and fucking and sucking on) Sai and Ryo
And they all get to fuck the Janet (Sai: Hey now. They do not!)
At the late night double feature Ronin Show.
I wanna go (I wanna cum)
Oh oh oh ooooh at the late night Double Feature(echo: fuck your teacher) Ronin Show
By RKO (What's that? Ronin's Kinky Orgies)
Oh oh oh ooooh at the late night Double Feature Ronin Show
(Where's the best place to fuck) In the back row
Rowen: (Fuck the Back Row)
Ryo: (Fuck the Front Row)
Rowen: (We fucked you first)
Ryo: (We fucked you last)
Rowen: (Oh yeah well let's just fuck each other)
Ryo: (Ok)
Oh oh oh oooOoooOooooh at the late night Double Feature... Ronin Show

*The Scene fades to that of a church where Ryou are Sai are attending
Cale and Sehkmet's wedding*

Tokyoites: Here they come! *Tokyoites cheer and throw cherry petals*

Saranbo: Let's get a picture. Close together now. The folks and then
The grandparents. Just of the close family. Ahhh, hold that.
Beautiful. And *Saranbo takes picture* (I finally got your
Soul, young warriors)

Tokyoites: Congratulations. (In high pitched voice: "Thank you")

Sehkmet: *walks down the stairs to Ryo* I guesssss we finally did it, huh.
*Hits Ryou on the shoulder* (Oh no not again. I thought they stopped fighting)

Ryo: *hits Sehkmet back* (C'mon, Ryo, temper temper) I don't think there's any doubt about
that. Yeah, you two dudes been inseparable since we kicked your all's ass. (Should have used KY
instead of Super Glue.)

Sehkmet: Well, to tell you the truth, Ryo, that'ssss the only reasssson I fought you all in
the firsssst plassse. (Sai: Liar!!)

Cale: Ok, you guys, this is it.

Sehkmet: Well Cale'ssss gonna throw the bouquet. *Cale throws the bouquet and Sai catches it*

Sai: (Hey Sai, do you have Sea Monkeys?) I got it! I got it!(He always gets it.)

Sehkmet: Hey big fella, (How would you know, Sai told him, Sai: I did not!) it looksssss like
it could be your turn nexsst, eh?

Ryo: Who knows? (Kaos knows!)

Sehkmet: Well sssso long, sssssee you, Ryo. Guesssss we better get going now, Cale. Come on
(ME); hop in (the sack). *Ryou hits the car twice and Sehkmet and Cale drive off*

Sai: Oh Ryo, wasn't it wonderful? Wasn't Cale just radiantly beautiful? I can't believe it.
An hour ago he was just plain old Cale Warlord of Corruption, and now, now he's Mrs. Sehkmet
Warlord of Venom.

Ryo: (Hey, Ryo, has Sekhmet seen you naked?) Yeah Torrent, Sehkmet's one lucky dude. *They
slowly walk down the stairs toward a small graveyard*

Sai: Yes.

Tokyoite: I always cry at weddings.

Ryo: Everyone knows that Cale's a kickass cook. (echo: fuck)(Yeah Sehkmet will need one.
Everything he makes taste like poison)

Sai: Yes.

Ryo: Why, Sehkmet himself, he'll be up for a promotion in a millennium or two. (What's he
gonna be, head ex-warlord or something?)

Sai: Yes.

Ryo: Hey, Torrent.

Sai: Yes, Ryou?

Ryo: I've got something to say.

Sai: Uh huh.

Ryo: I really thought the way you caught the bouquet...(C'mon say it Ryou) Kicked ass.

Sai: Oh Ryo!

{Dammit Torrent}

Ryo: The footmen were many but I fought it (Torrent)
Talpa was big but I clocked it (Torrent)
So dude, don't tell me stop it (Torrent)
I've one thing to say and that's Damnit, Torrent I love you (echo: I wanna screw)
The journey was long but I ran it (Torrent)
There's a fire in my heart, dude, ("and everywhere else" or "there
Always is")
And you fan it
If there's one dude for you than I am it
I've one thing to say and that's Damnit, Torrent I love you (echo: I wanna screw)
Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker
There's three ways that love can grow
That's Gay, Straight or Bisexual (Guess which one he chose)
Oh, T-O-R-R-E-N-T
I love you so *Ryou falls flat on his face

Sai: *(How was your orgasm?) Oh it's nicer than the one the Warlord's had.
Now we're engaged and I'm so glad
That you don't know mom or dad
I've one thing to say and that's Ryou, I'm mad for you too
Ryo...

Ryo: Oh Damnit.(echo: oh shit.)

Sai: I'm mad.

Ryo: Oh Torrent. (echo: oh shit.)

Sai: For you.

Sai & Ryo: I love you too ah hoo (echo: I want to screw oo-oo-oo.)

Ryo: And let's go see the man who began it
When we met cause of his little plan it
Made me give you the eye and then panic
Now I've one thing to say and that's Damnit, Torrent, I love you (Echo: I wanna screw)
Damnit, Torrent.

Sai: Oh Ryo, I'm mad. (echo: you fag)

Ryo: Damnit, Torrent.

Ryo & Sai: I love you (echo: I wanna screw) *Ryou and Sai kiss* (Kento: Go RYO!!!!
Rowen: GO SAI!!! Wohoo!!))

(The man you're about to see has no fucking body...all he is a fucking head!!)

Talpa: I would like (You would, would you). Ah, If I may (You may not!). To take you (Where?)
On a strange journey (How strange was it, so strange they made a fanfic about it). It seemed a
fairly ordinary night when Ryo Sanada and his fiance Sai Mouri, two young, normal (NORMAL!?),
healthy kids left Tokyo that late November evening to visit a Dr. Kaos, ex-tutor,(Sex-tutor, so
that's where they learned it) now friend to both of them. (Is it true you wanna fuck all the
guys?) It's true there were dark storm clouds (describe your helmet) heavy, black, and
pendulous, toward which they were driving. (Is it also true that you want their bodies, not
their armors) It's true, also, that the spare tire they were carrying was badly in need of some
air (like his fucking head. How does he breath under that thing?) but, uh, they being normal
(NORMAL!?) kids, on a night out (Rowen: In.
Kento: Out.
Rowen: In.
Kento: Out.
Rowen: In.
Kento: Out.
Rowen: Now that's my type of night.) On a night out. It was a night out they were going to
remember (For how long?) For a very long time...

*Ryo is driving a motorcycle. Sai sits behind him holding him much closer Then he needs to. A
Gundam flies by them and Sai takes note of it. *

Sai: Gosh, that's the third Gundam that's passed us. (It looked like the first to me) they
sure do take their lives in their hands (Ryo takes something into his hands every day but it
ain't his life) what with the weather and all.

Ryo: Yes, Torrent, life's pretty cheap to them. (So is Sai. Sai: I AM NOT!) *They come to a
dead-end*

Sai: Oh, what's the matter, Ryou, Love?

Ryo: Great, I think I made a wrong turn back there.

Sai: Oh, but where did those Gundams come from? (They can fly! HELLO!)

Ryo: Hmm. Guess we'll just have to go back. *He starts to turn around but the lights dim
out and the engine stalls*

Sai: Oh no, what happened, love?

Ryo: Damn, the battery died, DAMNIT (it's all my fault!), I knew I should have changed the
battery before we left. Well, you stay here and keep warm while I go for help.

Sai: But where will you go in the middle of nowhere?

Ryo: Didn't we pass an awesome mansion back down the road a few miles?
Maybe they have a telephone we could use. (We? Where's this we come from, white boy? I
thought you told Sai to stay there!)

Sai: I'm going with you. (Ok, never mind!)

Ryo: Oh, no, dude, there's no sense in both of us getting wet. (Sai's already wet. Of course
he is, he's always wet.)

Sai: I'm coming with you. (That's a first) Besides, Love, the owner of that House might be a
beautiful woman and you might never come back (he is and you should be so lucky). *Ryo laughs
and they both get out of the car.*

{Over at the Hashiba place}

Sai: (Hey, Torrent, where do you like to masturbate?) In the velvet darkness
Of the blackest night
Burning bright there's a guiding star (Rowen: Hey that's me!)
(Hey Sai, do you have any preferences when fucking people?)
No matter what or who you are. *Ryou appears, his finger being used as a torch*

Ryo & Sai: There's a light

Everyone: (Where's the best placed to get fucked?) Over at the Hashiba place

Ryo & Sai: There's a light

Everyone: (Where do Pokemon belong?) Burning in the fireplace

Ryo & Sai: There's a light, light. In the darkness of everybody's life. (Sing to us, oh
lifeless one)

Anubis: The darkness must go down the river of nights dreaming.
Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light (Echo: My) come streaming
Into my life, Into my life.

Ryo & Sai: There's a light

Everyone: Over at the Hashiba's place.

Ryo & Sai: There's a light

Everyone: (Where does TickleMeElmo belong?) Burning in the fireplace
There's a light, light

Ryo & Sai: In the darkness of everybody's life.

Talpa: And so, it seemed that fortune had smiled upon Ryo and Torrent and that they had found
the assistance that their plight required. Or had they?

Sai: Oh Ryo, let's go back. I'm cold and frightened.

Ryo: Just a moment, Torrent, they might have a phone.

(Castles don't have phones, Ryo.)

*Ryo rings the doorbell and Anubis answers*

Anubis: Hello.

Ryou: Hey Dude, I'm Ryo Sanada, and this is my babe, Sai Mouri (slut!). I wonder if you could
help us out. You see, our motorcycle broke down up there and we wondered if you had a phone,
man.

Anubis: You're wet. (Sai's always wet!)

Sai: (Are a slut?) Yes, (Why?) it's raining. (Your's a slut because it's raining?)

Ryo: Yes. (Who asked you?)

Anubis: Yes.

*Lightning flashes and Ryou and Sai turn to see all the Gundams parked by the house and Anubis
lets them in. As they enter they see tons of decorations and massive amounts of psychedelic
colors on the walls*

Sai: You're too kind. Ryou, I'm frightened, what kind of place is this?

Ryo: Oh, it's probably some sort of weird hunting (Rowen: That's fucking not hunting) ground
for rich weirdoes.

Sai: Oh.

Anubis: This way. (Follow the bouncing staff)

Sai: Are you having a party?

Anubis: You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the master's affairs.
(Which one? The 69th!)

Sai: Oh, lucky him.

Kayura: You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky! Ha ha ha ha ha..

{Dimensional Warp}

Anubis: It's astounding
People are fleeing
Destruction takes it's toll (69 cents please)
But listen closely

Kayura: Not for very much longer

Anubis: I've got to keep control (echo: Fuck them all)
I remember the other dimensions
Drinking those moments when
The darkness would hit me
(Ouch, Cale, stop that.)

Anubis & Kayura: And a void would be calling

*Sai and Ryo are chased into the main hall by Kayura and Anubis and see all sorts of various
Anime Boys including Gundam Wing/Fushugi Yuugi/Weib Kreuss/ and other various boys.*

Anime Boys: Let's go to another dimension
Let's go to another dimension

Talpa: It's just a jump to the left *head bounces to the left on the desk*

Anime Boys: And then a step to the right

Talpa: With your hand on your hips *looks down realizing he has no hips*

Anime Boys: You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust (echo: Pelvic fuck!)
That really drives you insane.
Let's go to another dimension
Let's go to another dimension

Kayura: They're so dreamy, all these boys are so creamy
So they don't love me, no only boys
In another dimension
They can release all their tension
I watch all

Anubis: With a bit of plot twist

Kayura: You're in total bliss

Anubis: And nothing will ever be the same

Kayura: You're spaced out on sensation

Anubis: Like you're under sedation *Sai looks about to pass out but as Ronin protocol states
Ryo passes out instead*

Anime Boys: Let's go to another dimension
Let's go to another dimension

Mia: Well, I was walking down the street just having a think
When this blue of a guy gave me an evil wink
He shook me up; he took me by surprise
He had an armor suit, and the cutest eyes
He stared at me and I felt a change
He fucked me often, and I'd do it again

Anime Boys: Let's go to another dimension
Let's go to another dimension

Talpa: It's just a jump to the left

Anime Boys: And then a step to the right

Talpa: With your hand on your hips (echo: your own tits!)

Anime Boys: You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's go to another dimension
Let's go to another dimension

*Mia tap dances*

(2, 4, 6, 8, show us how you masturbate)
(3, 5, 7, 9, we know you do all the time)
(10, 20, 30, 40, now you got me really horny)
(3, 5, 7, 10, pick it up and try again)

Anime Boys: Let's go to another dimension
Let's go to another dimension

Talpa: It's just a jump to the left

Anime Boys: And then a step to the right

Talpa: With your hand on your hips

Anime Boys: You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's go to another dimension
Let's go to another dimension

*Everyone collapses*

Sai: *having finally reawaken Ryo* Ryo, say something!

Ryo: Say, one of you guys know Elvis?

Sai: Ryo, please, let's get out of here.

Ryo: (Ryo, give Sai some masturbation advice.) For god sakes, keep a grip on yourself, Torrent.

Sai: But it seems unhealthy here. *notes a half-eaten bag of potato chips lying on the floor*

Ryo: It's just a party, Torrent.

Sai: Well, I want to go.

Ryo: Well, we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone.

Sai: Well then, ask a butler or something.

Ryo: Geez Torrent, you think they'd have butler? Look around.

Sai: This isn't the Dynasty, Ryo!

Ryo: They're probably Americans whose ways are way different then ours. They might not have
time to clean up. (Heh, you got that right)

Sai: Look, I'm cold, I'm wet (you're always wet), and I'm just plain unhappy.

Ryo: I'm here, there's nothing to worry about.

*They both turn around to see Rowen wearing red lipstick and really REALLY thick baby blue
eyeshadow with a black-cape around him. Sai gasps as Ryo once again faints*

{Sweet Transvestite}

Rowen: How ya doin?
I see ya met my
Faithful Shinto Priest
He's just a little pissed
Cause when you knocked
He thought ya weíe the guy from Grease

*Rowen struts out wearing his cape proudly wrapped around his body popping bubblegum*

Don'tcha get strung out (On drugs)
By the way I look (that too)
Don't judge a book by its cahver (Yeah, just by the picture of the author on the back)
I'm one hot piece of ass by the light of day
And by night I'm one hell of a lovah

*Rowen takes off the cape revealing the black corset and fishnets he's wearing.*

I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transuburbia
Let me show ya around
Maybe fuck you around
Ya both look kinda poofy (Sai: Say that to my face!
Rowen: Poof, Poof, Poof, Poof. Sai: *Slugs Rowen*)
Or if ya want something visual
That's not too abysmal
Maybe we can take in an old Tarantino Movie

Ryo: Hey Dude, glad you were home
Could we see your phone?
We're both kinda in a hurry

Sai: Indeed

Ryo: We'll just tell them where we are
Then go back to the bike (echo: Then go fuck on the bike.)
We don't wanna bother ya dude

Rowen: Well ya got caught with a flat, well

Ryo: Um, actually no our...

Rowen: Well, how bout that
Well, lovelies don't ya panic
By the light of the night it'll all seem all right
I'll get ya a satanic mechanic (S&M!)
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transuburbia
Why don't ya stay for the night?

Anubis: Night

Rowen: Or maybe a bite

Mia: Bite

Rowen: I could show ya my favorite obsession (Sex!)
I've been making a man
With blond hair and a tan (You call that a tan?)
He's good for relieving my... (sexual) tension
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transsexual, Transuburbia (Hit it, hit it)
I'm just a sweet Transvestite

Mia, Anubis, and Kayura: Sweet Transvestite

Rowen: From Transsexual

Mia, Anubis, Kayura, and Rowen: Transuburbia

Rowen: So come up to the lab
And see what's on the slab
I see you shiver with antici- *pauses three seconds* -pation
But maybe the rain
Isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause (echo: your clothes)
But not the symptoms

*Rowen goes up in the elevator while Anubis and Kayura start cleaning up their guest*

Sai: Thank you.

Ryo: Thank you very much.

*Kayura and Anubis start removing just a bit more than just their jackets*

Sai: Oh, Ryo...

Ryo: It's all right, Torrent. We'll keep goin' for now and book it when we have a chance.

Mia: Slowly, slowly. It's too nice a (blow) job to rush.

Ryo: Hi, I'm Ryo Sanada, and this is my fiance, Sai Mouri (Slut!). You are?

Mia: You're very lucky to be invited to Rowen's Lab. Some people would give their right arm
for the privilege.

Ryo: Heh, people like you right?

Mia: Ha, I've seen it. (I bet she's seen a lot more than just his lab) *Mia tosses their
clothes on the floor leaving them only in their boxers and rushed them off into the elevator
with Anubis and Kayura*

Anubis: Come along, Rowen doesn't like to be kept waiting.

Kayura: (What do you do with an uncomfortable cock?) Shift it.

Sai: Is he, Rowen I mean, your husband?

Anubis: Rowen is not yet married, nor do I think he ever will be. We are simply his love toys.

Sai: Oh.

*The elevator stops at Rowen's lab where Rowen is standing near a large red tank.*

Rowen: Kayura, Mia, go and assist Anubis. I will entertain...*chuckles*

Ryo: Heyya Dude, I'm Ryou and this is my fiance, Sai Mouri (Slut!).

Rowen: Enchante *Sai giggles as Rowen kisses his hand* Well, how nice and what charming boxers
you both have. But here, put these on, they'll make you feel less (Naked!) vulnerable. It's not
often we receive visitors he'a let alone offer them hospitality.

Ryo: Hospitality. Dude, all we wanted was to use your phone, Goddammit. A reasonable request
which you've totally ignored.

Sai: Don't be ungrateful.

Ryo: Ungrateful!

Rowen: How forceful ya are, Ryou. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So...Dominant.
You must be awfully proud of him, Torrent.

Sai: *thinks about it for a second* Well, yes, yes I am.

Rowen: Do you have any tattoos, Ryo?

Ryo: No way, dude.

Rowen: Oh well, how bout you? *to Sai*

Sai: No. *looks disgusted*

Anubis: Everything is in readiness, Rowen. We merely await your word.

Rowen: Tonight, my unconventional conventionalist, you are to witness a breakthrough in
Biochemical research and paradise is to be mine. It was strange when it happened, suddenly you
get a break, whole pieces start to fit into place, not a sign of being. What a fool. The
answer was there all the time; it took a small accident to make it happen. An ACCIDENT!

Kayura and Mia: An accident.

Rowen: And that's how I discovered the secret, that elusive ingredient, that spark, that is
the breath of life. (Are you into bondage?) Yes, I have that knowledge. I hold the secret to
life itself. You see, you are fortunate for tonight is the night that my beautiful creature is
destined to be born. *The various Anime boys beginning clapping and even Sai himself starts
clapping until a harsh scowl from Ryo causes him to stop, afterwhich Kayura and Mia whip off the
cloth of the red tank revealing a bandaged man looking a lot like a giant tampon* Hoopla!

Sai: Oh, Ryo...

Ryo: It's all right, Torrent!

*Rowen messes with various chemicals and things apparently creating a creature. After several
minutes Rowen stops and Sage stands up wearing only bandages*

Sage: *stands up and looks down* What AM I wearing?!

Rowen: Oh, Seiji!

{The Sword of Damocles}

Sage: The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head
And I really need to get outta these threads
Oh woe is I, this costume is a misery
Oh, can't you see, I'm gonna go nuts if I wear these any longer.
I woke up this morning with a start wearing these threads.

Anime Boys: That ain't no crime.

Sage: And left my dreaming with a feeling of unnamable dread.

Anime Boys: That ain't no crime.

Sage: My high is low, these clothes just got to go,
And all I know is I'm gonna go nuts if I wear these any longer.

*Mia and Kayura undress Sage, leaving him wearing a gold thong, afterwhich Sage runs around the
laboratory trying desperately to get away from Rowen's whose holding up a red corsette*

Anime Boys: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime.

Sage: oh ho no no!

Anime Boys: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime.

Sage: Oh, ho no no!

Anime Boys: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime.

Sage: Oh, ho no no, the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head.

Anime Boys: That ain't no crime.

Sage: And I really need to get out of these threads.

Anime Boys: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime.

Sage: *being chased by Rowen* Oh, no no no!

Anime Boys: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime.

Sage: Oh, no no no!

Anime Boys: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime.

Sage: Oh, no no no!

Anime Boys: Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la,
that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la-la, that ain't no crime, Sha-la-la.

*Sage finally returns to the tank having given up getting away from Rowen*

Rowen: Well, really. That's no wah to behave on ya first day out.

Sage: Hey, you'd run too if you were wearing those awful bandages.

Rowen: *ignoring him completely* But since ya such a good-looking man, I'm gonna forgive ya.

Sage: *rolls eyes* Forgive me for what? For wearing the most horrible clothes since Sai wore
those awful plaid pants in New York?

Sai: *gasps* Well, I never!

Rowen: *being totally oblivious* Oh, I just love success. (Rowen, you love anything that sucks.
Rowen: You betcha!)

Anubis: He's a credit to your genius.

Rowen: Yes.

Kayura: A triumph to your will.

Rowen: Yes.

Mia: He's ok.

Rowen: Ok? OK!!! I think we can do bettah than that. *takes Sage over to Ryo and Sai*
Well Ryo and Torrent, what do you think of him?

Sai: Well, he did make fun of my clothing, ya know.

Rowen: I didn't make him for you! He carries the Bishounen seal of approval.

{I Can Make You a Fag}

Rowen: A pretty boy weighing a hundred and eight pounds
will get many treats when down on the bed.

Sage: Um, what are you talking about?

Rowen: And soon on the bed with a devilish grin,
the sweat from his pores as he works for his cause.
We'll make him glisten and gleam.
And with massage and just a little bit of steam.
He'll be tight and quite clean.
He'll be a trooper man.

Anime Boys: *As they all realize that they ain't gonna get to sleep with Rowen* But the wrong
man.

Rowen: He'll eat nutritious,
high protein
and swallow raw eggs.

Sage: *Aghast* You must be kidding!

Rowen: Try to build his shoulders,
his chest, arms, and legs.
Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
In just seven days. (And six hard nights.)

*Sage looks nervously around for an escape route*

Rowen & Anime Boys: I can make you a fag!

Sage: *stops looking around* Wait, is that all you wanted? If I had known that.. *is cut off
by Rowen*

Rowen: He'll do press-ups, and chin-ups, do the snatch, clean and jerk (off).
He thinks all this attention must be hard work.

Sage: *looks smug* Depends on what type of attention.

Rowen: Such strenuous living I just don't understand,
when in just seven days I can make you a fag

*Rowen brings Sage over to a big meat locker door. An alarm on the door begins sounding and
Kento breaks through the door riding a motorcycle*

Mia: Kento!

{Hot Patootie}

Kento: Whatever happened to Saturday night (Sunday morning)
When you dressed up sharp and you felt all right
It doesn't seem the same since cosmic light
Came into my life, I thought I was divine.
I used to go for a ride with any boy who'd go
And listen to the music on the radio
A saxophone was blowing on a rock 'n roll show
You'd climb in the backseat; you really had a good time.
Hot Patootie, bless my, I really love that Bishounen Show
Hot Patootie, bless my, I really love that Bishounen Show
Hot Patootie, bless my, I really love that Bishounen Show
Hot Patootie, bless my, I really love that Bishounen Show

Wufei: Lovely party.

Kento: My head used to swim from the perfume I smelled.
My hands kinda fumbled with his white plastic belt.
I'd taste his baby pink lipstick and that's when I'd melt
And he'd whispered in my ear tonight he really was mine.
Get back in front, put some hair oil on.
Buddy Holly was singing his very last song.
With your arms around your guy you'd try to sing along.
It felt pretty good. Woo, you really had a good time.
Hot Patootie, bless my, I really love that Bishounen Show
(repeat for a total of twelve times)

*Kento rides around the room on his motorcycle and at the end of the song is chased out of the
room by Rowen whose threatening to force him to go on a slim fast diet*

Rowen: One from the vaults.

Sage: What the hell did you do that for? I mean, granted he looked like an eighties movie
reject, but that doesn't mean you had to chase him out of here.

Rowen: Oh don't be upset. I had to chase him out of here. He was cramping this place with his
motorcycle and all.

Sage: *rolls his eyes and tosses back his hair in a vain attempt to get it out of his eyes*

{I can make you a fag (Reprise)}

Rowen: Oh, but a deltoid and a hairflip,
A hot groin and a tight ass.
Makes me, ooh, shake
Makes me wanna take Bishounen by the ha-ha-hand (full)

Rowen and Anime Boys: In just seven days, I can make ya a fag.

Rowen: I don't want no dissension, just a lot of attention

Sai: I'm a fashion fan

Rowen: In just seven days, I can make ya a fag
Dig it if you can, in just seven days I can make ya a fag.

Anime Boys: Rowen and Seiji rah-rah-rah
Rowen and Seiji rah-rah-rah
Rowen and Seiji rah-rah-rah
Rowen and Seiji rah-rah-rah

Talpa: There are some who say that life is an (obligatory Dais mentioning ahead) illusion.
And reality is but a figment of the imagination (like your fucking body). If this is so, then
Ryo and Torrent are quite safe. However, the sudden departure of their host (and your body)
and his creation into the seclusion of his somber bridal suite had left them feeling both
apprehensive and uneasy, a feeling which grew as the other guest departed and they were shown
to their separate rooms.

*Sai is shoved into a blue lit room while a few doors down Ryo is shoved into a red lit room*

Sai: Uhh! Who is it? Who's there?

*Rowen walks in pretending to be Ryou*

Rowen: It's only me Torrent.

Sai: Oh, Ryo darling, come in (come in me) *Rowen starts laying the moves on Sai* Oh Ryo, oh
Ryo, yes my darling, but what if...

Rowen: It's all right Torrent, everything's going to be all right.

Sai: Oh, I hope so, my darling *accidentally takes off Rowen's wig revealing who he really is*
Oh, ah, ah, OHHH! Oh, it's you!

Rowen: I'm afraid so Torrent, but isn't it nice?

Sai: Oh, you beast, you monster! Oh, what have you done with Ryo? (Nothing, he's saving the
best for last.)

Rowen: Oh, well nothing. Why do ya think I should (Don't worry he will anyway)

Sai: You tricked me, I wouldn't have...I've never, never...

Rowen: Yes, yes, I know, but it isn't all bad, is it? I think ya find it quite pleasurable.

Sai: Oh stop. I mean help. Ryo, Ryo, Oh RYO!

Rowen: Shhh. Ryou's probably asleep by now. Do ya want him to see ya like this!

Sai: Like this, like how? Oh it's your fault; you're to blame. Oh, I was saving myself (For
what, a rainy day? Look outside, it's pouring)

Rowen: Yes, but I'm sure ya not spent yet (I'd sure hope not)

Sai: Promise you won't tell Ryou (Slut! Sai: I am not. Let's see you give up the opportunity
to fuck Rowen!)

Rowen: Cross my heart and hope to die.

*Kayura mops the floor while Anubis slowly makes his way toward Sage whose currently sleeping
on his stomach. Anubis pulls out a cheesy Hawaiian shirt and plaid pants and starts edging
toward Sage. Sage turns around just in time to see the horrible combination and with great
effort breaks the furry handcuffs Rowen used earlier and runs down a nearby ladder away from the
horrible outfit. After which Anubis gives Kayura one hell of a hickey*

*Rowen shows up in Ryo's room disguised as Sai*

Rowen: Oh, Ryo, darling, it's no good here. It'll destroy us.

Ryo: Don't worry Torrent, we'll be away from here in the morning.

Rowen: Oh, Ryo, ya so strong and protective. (Like a good condom!)

Ryo: *Takes off Rowen's wig* Ah, ah, ah, oh, you!

Rowen: I'm afraid so Ryo, but isn't it nice?

Ryo: Why YOU! What have you done with Torrent? (Rowen: Fucked the shit out of him)

Rowen: Why nothing, do ya think I should (Sai: How could you. I'm so hurt!)

Ryo: You tricked me, I wouldn't have, never never, never!

Rowen: Oh yes yes, I know. But it isn't all bad is it? Not even half-bad, I think ya really
quite enjoyed it.

*Ryo starts moaning*

Rowen: Oh so soft

Ryo: Stop it, stop it. Oh Torrent, TORRENT!

Rowen: Torrent's probably asleep by now. Do ya want him to see ya like this!

Ryo: Like this, like how. It's your fault; you're to blame. I thought it was the real thing.

Rowen: Oh, c'mon Ryo, admit it, ya liked it, didn't ya? It isn't a crime to give yaself over
to pleasure, Ryo. We've wasted so much time already. Torrent needn't know. I won't tell him.

Ryo: Well, promise you won't tell.

Rowen: On my mother's graoouuuu... (Don't talk with your mouth full!)

Anubis: Rowen, Sage has broken his chains and vanished. Your new playmate is loose and
somewhere on the castle grounds. Kayura just released the Warlords.

Rowen: Mmmmm? Coming. (So is Ryo!)

*Scenes do a really bad editing job to Sai*

Sai: What's happening here? Where's Ryou? Where's anybody? Oh, Ryo, Ryo, my darling, How could
I have done this to you? Oh, if only we hadn't made this journey, if only the battery hadn’t
died, if only we were amongst friends (But you are. That's the problem!) Or sane persons.
Oh Ryo, oh Ryo, what have they done with him? *He sees him on TV with Rowen* Oh Ryo, oh Ryo,
how could you? *Sai leans against the lever and Sage moans from beneath a cover in the nearby
tank. Sai goes over there and investigates. Sage sits up* Oh, but you're hurt.

Sage: You're telling me. *shakes his head* You should have seen what they were trying to make
me wear.

Sai: *notes several bruises Sage got while running around* Did they do this to you?

Sage: Yes, they did. Have you ever tried to fight Dais wearing just a gold thong?

Sai: I'll dress your wounds. *Rips a piece of his silk boxers revealing his rather yummy
looking thighs* Baby there, let me make it all better.

*Scene cuts to Talpa again*

Talpa: Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind (Echo: Of the force) Vehement or excited
mental state. It is also a powerful and irrational master and from what Kayura and Mia eagerly
viewed on the television monitor there seemed little doubt that Torrent was indeed, its slave.

Kayura & Mia: Tell us about it, Torrent.

{Touch-a Touch-a Touch-a Touch m}

Sai: I was feeling done in,
(Rowen: And out and in and out and in...
Sai: That's not funny, Rowen.
Rowen: Hell...ya right, it was fuckin' hilarious!
Sai: Good heavens.)
Couldn't win,
I'd only kissed before.

Mia: You mean he's-
(Rowen: *starts to open his mouth*
Aaron: If you say it, I'll never forgive you!
Rowen: Catholic. Sorry dude, I have to. Part of the job description.
Aaron: *storms off*)

Kayura: Uh huh.
(Rowen: A whore?
Sai: I am not!
Rowen: Ya right, we don't have to pay ya for it.)

Sai: I thought there's no use getting
(Rowen: Laid.
Sai: Now I'll have you know I've slept with just about everyone on the...Hey!
Rowen: That's what I thought!)
into heavy petting.
(Rowen: Same thing)
It only leads to trouble,
(Rowen: Ya got that right!)
and seat wetting.
(Ryo: Hey, my seats wet!
Rowen: *drags Ryou back down with him* Sit down and enjoy it! *goes back to giving him a
blowjob*)
Now all I want to know is how to go
(Rowen: Damn...you'd think you'd know by now.
Sai: Hey! I do! But...
Rowen: But what, Sai?
Sai: Fine then!)
I've tasted blood,
(Rowen: Cum.)
and I want more.
(Rowen: Hehe)

Kayura & Mia: *get all hot and bothered by watching Sai and Sage start rubbing each other and
lean closer to the T.V.* More, more, more! (Rowen: Yes, MORE!
Sai: Keep your pants on!
Rowen: Why?)

Sai: I'll put up no resistance
(Rowen: Ya never do.)
I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch
I need assistance

Sage: I'll assist you in this matter!

Sai: *grabs Sage's hands and rubs them on his crotch while Sage grins not really needing Sai's
hands to help him*
Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me!
I want to be dirty,
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,
Creature of the Night!

Sage: Creature of the Night? Who do you think I am? Cale?

Sai: Then if anything grows, *looks as Sage (*coughs*) grows*
While you pose,
(Rowen: Strike a pose, nothing to it, *Vogues*)
I'll oil you up and drop you down. *grabs a small bottle of oil and
rubs it ALL over Sage*

Kayura & Mia: Down,
(Rowen: Up)
Down,
(Rowen: Up)
Down.
(Rowen: Up)

Sai: And that's just one small fraction(Rowen: 1/69th)
of the main attraction.
You need a friendly hand,
and I need an action.

Sage: Hell, I don't need a friendly hand! *rips off Sai's boxers and proceeds to fuck him like
he's never been fucked before*

Sai: Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me!
I want to be dirty.
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,
Creature of the Night.

Mia: *from the depths of her and Kayura's oral sex* Toucha toucha toucha touch me!

Kayura: I want to be dirty!

Mia: Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me.

Kayura: Creature of the Night.

Cale: You rang?

Sai: Toucha toucha toucha touch me!
I want to be dirty.
Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me,
Creature of the Night.

Sage: Creature of the Night?

Ryo: *still fucking Rowen* Uhhhnnn, Creature of the NNNNNniiighhhtt...

Rowen: *lifts off of Ryo* Cale, where?

Kayura: *looks over at Cale* Creature of the Night!

Anubis: *looking for Cale* Creature of the NIGHT!

Mia: *sees Cale as well* Creature of the Night! Hey, wanna join?

Sage: Whatthehell? Creature of the Night?

Sai: *looks at Sage sheepishly* Creature of the Night?

Scene Change:

*The Elevator rises with Rowen whipping Anubis with a cat-o-nine tails and Ryo standing behind
him, wearing only his tiger striped boxers and looking quite pleased*

Anubis: Owwwwwwwww! Mercy!

Rowen: How did it happen?

Anubis: I was only away for a minute, (Kento: Doing what?) Master. (Kento: Bating!)

Rowen: Well see if ya can find him- *whips him again, this time using a forehand* -on a monitor.
*tries to hit Anubis again but Anubis quickly dodges the strike*

Anubis: Master...Master, (Kento:Bater) we have a visitor.

Ryo: Hey, Kaos! The Ancient Kaos!

Anubis: You know my former. *Rowen slaps Anubis hand with the cat-o-nine tails* I mean person.

Ryo: Hell yeah, he happens to be an old friend of mine, dude.

Rowen: I see. So this wasn't simply a chance meeting. Ya came here with a purpose. *pushes Ryo
back with the cat-o-nine tails*

Ryo: I told you dude, my bike broke down. I was telling you the truth.

Rowen: I know whatcha told me, Ryo. *pushes him back a little further with the whip* But this
Kaos, his name is not unknown to me.

Ryo: He was our guide throughout the season, man!

Rowen: And now he wants to steal ya away from me, Ryo. You've been his secret lover ALL THIS
TIME! *On the last three words instead of pushing him back he grabs Ryo boxers and then shoves
him back, ripping Ryo's boxers completely off* Isn't that right, Ryo?

Ryo: *blushes* He might be, I dunno.

Rowen: How can ya not know?

Anubis: The Ancient is entering the building, Master.(Rowen: God, I love it when he calls me
that.)

Rowen: He'll probably be entering the sex room. *quick shot of Kaos in a room full of kinky sex
toys* Shall we inquire of him in person? *walks over to his hot old dude attracting machine
and pulls the lever, which drags Kaos through many rooms, finally causing him to break through
one of the nearby walls*

Ryo: Great Kaos!

Kaos: Rowen, we meet at last.

Ryo: Kaos. *shakes hands, hugs, kisses, deepthroats Kaos*

Kaos: Ryo, what are you doing here?

Ryo: Don't ask me, ask the person writing this!

Rowen: Don't play games with me, Kaos. Ya know perfectly well what Ryo Sanada is doing here.
It was part of ya plan, was it not? To gather all the hot bishounen, all for yaself? Well,
unfortunately for you, all the plans are to be changed. Ya must be adaptable, Kaos. I know
Ryo is!

Ryo: Hey man, I only swing one way and that's GAY!

Kaos: I can assure you that Ryo's presence here comes as complete shock to me. I came here to
find Kento.

Ryo: Kento, I've seen him(Ryo: And he don't look so good)

Rowen: What do ya know of Kento, Kaos?

Kaos: I happen to know a great deal about a lot of things. You see, Kento happens to be my
lover! *Rowen gasp just as Sai and Sage orgasms*

Ryo: *looks upset* Kaos...

Sai: Ah!

Kaos: Torrent!

Sai: Kaos!

Ryo: Torrent!

Sai: Ryo!

Rowen: Sage! *Sage looks over at Rowen, frowning faintly*

Kaos: Torrent!

Sai: Kaos!

Ryo: Torrent!

Sai: Ryo!

Rowen: Sage! *Sage again looks over at Rowen, his frown deepening*

Kaos: Torrent!

Sai: Kaos!

Ryo: Torrent!

Sai: Ryo!

Rowen: Sage! *Sage finally gets fed up with Rowen continuosly calling his name*

Sage: WHAT???

Rowen: Listen. I made ya. And I can break ya just as easily.

Kayura: Master. Dinnah is prepahed!

Rowen: Excellent. Under the circumstances...ya three have to come naked! (Kento: The only way
to come!)

Talpa: Food has always played a vital role in life's rituals. The breaking of Bread, the last
meal of a condemned man, and now this meal. However informal it may appear, you can be sure
there will be little bonhomie. (Rowen: Whatthefuck is that?)

Scene Change:

*Sai, Rowen, Sage, Ryo, Kaos, and Mia all sit around the table with Rowen at the head of the
table, while Anubis and Kayura walk around serving wine and food with Rowen carving the meat and
making threatening gestures to Sage*

Rowen: A toast. To hot bishounen!

Everyone else: To hot bishounen!

Rowen: And Sage. *Rowen starts impromptu version of Happy Birthday Sage and cuts it off right
after "Dear Sage". Torrent continues until he realizes that he is the only one left singing*
Shall we? *They munch for a few minutes before Kaos speaks up*

Kaos: We came here to discuss Kento!

Mia: Kento? *Rowen threatens Mia with the turkey cutter*

Rowen: That's a rather tender subject. Another slice anyone? *Everyone stops eating thinking
they're eating Kento*
(Rowen: What's wrong, guys. We've eaten Kento before?
Ryo: But not as the main course!)

Mia: Excuse Me. *Mia walks out the doors and screams* (Rowen: Sorry Mia, I forgot to tell you
that I threw away all your extra thick dildos)

Kaos: I knew he was with Ronins, but it was worse than I imagined. Rowen fucks women, too!

Sage: WHAT???!!!!

Rowen: Go on, Kaos! Or should I say, Heterosexual Kaos!

Ryo: Just what exactly are you implying?

Kaos: It's all right!

Ryo: But Kaos, it's not true!

Kaos: It's all right, Ryo!

{Kento!}

Kaos: From the day he was armed (Not the night but the day)
He was trouble (Not nude Twister but Trouble)
He was the thorn (Not the rose but the thorn)
In the Dynasty's side. (Not the ass but the side)
They tried in vain (Not the artery but the vain)

Talpa: But all he did was put them to shame. (Shame Shame Shame!)

Kaos: He said no when Dais tried!
From the day he was born
all he wanted was
was Talpa's helmet
and a motorbike!
Beating up punks!

Talpa: He was one, hot, major babe of a hunk! (Yeah Hunk Hunk: You called?)

Kaos: Taking everyone's fries!

All: When Kento says he doesn't like spaghetti
You know he's really sick
But when he threatens your life
For an Eskimo pie

Rowen: He's all right!

Sai: Guard you fries

Kaos: And I did.

Mia: Everybody loves him
I very dearly trust him
I said hey listen to me
Try some of my spaghetti (Rowen: I'm not even gonna say it)
But he locked the door and wouldn't try any! (Rowen: He locked the
door and refused to eat me.
Sai: Good Heavens)

Kaos: He must've been drawn
by several artist (Kento: Hey I'm real Damnit! What do you think I am..some sort of
cartoon.
Sai:Um..dear..we are cartoons.
Kento: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!)
making him write
me a note that reads

All: What's it say, what's it say?

Kento's Voice: I'm outta my hed (Sai: What atrocious spelling!
Kento: Hey I was on a bunch of Nyquil at the time gimme a break)
Oh hurry, or I won't be fed
They mustn't carry out their evil deed!

All: When Kento says he doesn't like spaghetti,
you know he must be sick.
But when he threatens your life for an
Eskimo Pie

Rowen: He's all right!

Sai: Guard your fries

Kaos: And I did.

All: When Kento says he doesn't like spaghetti,
you know he must be sick.
But when he threatens your life for an
Eskimo Pie

Rowen: He's alriiight

All: oh-oh-oh

Sai: Guard your fries!

All: Hey Hey Hey

Kaos: And I did

*Rowen stands up slowly after the music stops and bends down and rips the table cloth off
revealing thousands of little chibi's. Sage in fear of his hair runs over to Sai and buries
his head in Sai's chest*

Rowen: How could you! *slaps Sai on the bum*

Kaos: This way! This way! *goes after Sai whose now being chased by Rowen. Anubis and Kayura
start laughing until Anubis tells her to shut up*

Anubis: Shut up!

{Planet Shmanet}

*Torrent is being chased up the stairs toward the laboratory by a very angry Rowen while Ryo
and The Ancient make their way into the Elevator and start heading up*

Rowen: I'll tell ya once, I won't tell ya twice
Ya'd bettah lay off, Seiji's thighs
Your apple pie don't taste to nice.
(Sai:*looks absolutely downtrodden* I thought you liked my apple pie.
*starts sniffling and crying*
Rowen: Er um...I love your apple pie. Really I do.
Sai:You mean it.
Rowen:Um ya.)
Ya'd bettah lay off; Seiji's thighs. *Sai knees Rowen hard in the balls and gets away*
I've laid the seed; it should be all ya need.
(Seiji:*smug look* What Rowen Jealous?)
Ya're as thick as a pencil
Did ya think I was impressed with that thing
When we made it did ya hear a bell ring.
(Sai:Actually I did. I think it was the ones you had tied to your..er..nevermind)
Ya got writer's block, well take my advice.
Ya bettah lay off; Seiji's thighs.
The Transducer will seduce ya.

*Rowen runs over to the Transducer and pulls down a lever just as Ryo and Kaos make it to them
freezing all three into place.*

Sai: My feet! I can't move my feet!

Kaos: My staff, Oh my god I can't use my staff

Ryo: It's as if we're glued to the spot.

Rowen: Ya are (So take that!) So quake with fear (Anubis: Hey that's my line!), ya tiny fools!

Sai: We're trapped (in this god forsaken fic)

Rowen: *sung* It's something ya'll get used to. A mental mind fuck can be nice!

*Kayura, Anubis, Mia, And Seiji all enter*

Kaos: You won't find us the easy mark you imagine. This sonic transducer. It is I suppose,
some kind of audio-vibratory physio-molecular transport device?

Rowen: Actually it's just *interrupted by Ryo*

Ryo: *reaches over and touches Kaos* You mean?

Kaos: Yes Ryo, it's something we ourselves have been working on for quite some time. But it
seems our friend here has found a means of perfecting it.

Rowen: Guys it's not that complicated. See it's just...*is interrupted by Kaos this time*

Kaos: A Device capable of breaking down solid matter and then projecting it through space and
who knows, perhaps even time itself.

Sai: *touches Kaos shoulder* You mean he's going to send us to another planet?

Rowen: *absolutely flustered* Planet shmanet Torrent!
You bettah back off Seiji's thighs! *starts feeling Sai up since
he's still nude from earlier*
You bettah back off, or wack off
You bettah back off!

Talpa: And then he cried out!

*Sai looks down and blushes as he notices he's getting hard*

Sai: STOP!II *beats on Rowen sending him across the room*

Rowen: Don't get hot and flustered
(Sai: And how do you expect that honestly)
Use a bit of mustard!
(Everyone: Mustard?? Rowen: Hey it has it's perks!)

Ryo: You're a Ronin,
but you better not tease him,
and not please him! *Rowen nods and Kayura turns Ryo to stone*

Kaos: You’re a Ronin,
but you better not tease him,
and not please him! *Rowen nods again and Kayura turns Kaos into stone*

Sai: You're a Ronin *Kayura throws a switch labeled Medusa and Sai turns to stone*

Mia: (Whose Mink?) My god! (Hey, mine too!) I can't stand any more of this! (Rowen: Then sit
down, bitch!) First you spurn me for Kento, and then you throw him off like an old overcoat
for Seiji. You chew people up and then spit them out again. (Rowen: Hey, that's not true. I
swallow!) I loved you! D'ya hear me? I loved you and what did it get me? Yeah, I'll tell you.
A big nothing. (Rowen: At least it was big!) You're like a sponge. You take, take, take and
drain others of their love and emotion. Yeah well, I've had enough! You've gotta choose
between me and Seiji, so called 'cause for the..um..Sage in his head. (That Mia, what a bitch.
Quick, Kayura, throw the switch!) *Kayura pulls a switch on the wall labeled "Medusa" and Mia
turns to stone*

Rowen: It's not easy having a good time.

Sage: Well, maybe if you didn't fuck everything up, you'd have a better time. *Rowen glances
at him and Kayura pulls a switch on the wall labeled "Medusa"and Seiji turns to stone*

(Rowen: Everyone must get stoned!)

(Ryo: Hey, Rowen, what's it like after giving all of us blow jobs?)

Rowen: Even smiling makes my face ache. *Rowen walks over to the freezer door where Kento was
stored and puts his knuckles into his mouth lookingextremely exasperated* And my children turn
on me. Seiji's just the way Kento was. (Kento: Hey, what's wrong with how I act?
Sai: Nothing, dear.
Kento: Good. 'Cause if there was, I'd have to beat a certain blue-haired archer into
submission.))

*Rowen looks over at Kayura and Anubis* Do you think I made a mistake? Splitting his brain
between the two of them? (Kento: Man, no wonder I've had such a splitting headache since this
fic began.)

*Kayura walks over to where Rowen is. Anubis follows.*

Kayura: Ahhh! I grow weary of this fic. When shall we be returned to the good authors, huh?

*as Rowen is speaking, Kayura's head slowly turns toward Anubis*

Rowen: Kayura, he is indeed grateful to both you and your Warlord, Anubis. You have both
served him well. Loyalty such as yours should not go unrewarded. You shall discover that when
the mood takes him, Aaron can be quite generous.

(Kento: Hey, Kayura, how much for a blow job?)

Kayura: I ask for nothing.

(Rowen: I'll take two then!)

Rowen: *furious at being interrupted again makes a mistake and speaks for the author which will
prove detrimental later on* And you shall receive it in abundance!

(Ryo: What is Rowen's favorite snack food?)

Rowen: Come, we are ready for the floor show. *Rowen walks off then Kayura and Anubis go in for
an "Elbow quickie". ((For those of you who don't know what an Elbow quickie is, it's a shorter
version of Elbow Sex, where two people put their arms together slowly, eventually meeting up
with elbows before pulling away. This is the best description I can think for it))

Talpa: (Kento: Man, all Sai does in the winter is sew and sew and sew.) And so, by some
extraordinary coincidence, fate, it seemed, had decided that Ryo and Torrent should keep that
appointment with their friend, The Ancient Kaos. But it was to be in a situation which none of
them could have possibly foreseen. And, just a few hours after announcing their engagement, Ryo
and Torrent had both tasted Rowen's body. This in itself was proof that their host was a man of
little morals(Kento: Yeah, little morals.)and some persuasion.
(Kento: Yeah, some persuasion.
Even though I'm sure it was soooo hard to convince them.
Sai: Hey now!
Rowen: Well, it wasn't.)
What further indignities were they to be subjected to? (Rowen: Indignities? What the hell do
you mean by that?!) And what of the floor show that had been spoken of? (Rowen: Hey Talpa, where
do you masturbate?) In an empty house? (Rowen: Hey Talpa, when do you masturbate?)In the
middle of the night. What diabolical plan had seized Rowen's crazed imagination? (Rowen: Who
the hell you calling "crazed"? At least I didn't try to take over Tokyo!) What indeed? From
what had gone on before, it was clear that this was to be no picnic. (Kento: Oh, damn. I was
really hungry, too!)

*Statues of Mia, Sage, Sai, and Ryo stand on a stage. A large radio tower stands on the
distance. At the top is a sign that reads RWO. Each wearing their various costuming. Rowen
walks over to them

{What Tints My World?}

Rowen runs over to some levers and pulls one down un-freezing Mia. She begins singing and
dancing her way across the stage.*

Mia: (How was this fic?)It was great when it all began
I was a regular Rowen fan
But It was over when he had the plan
To start a-working on a bishonen, man.
Now the only thing that gives me hope
Is my love of smoking dope
Smoke Tints my world and keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

*Mia walks finishes dancing and walks over to one side of the stage. Rowen then flips another
switch un-freezing Sage and he too begins dancing across stage*

Sage: I'm just seven hours old (Kento: Well they always said you had a baby face)
and truly beautiful to behold
and somebody should be told
my libido hasn't been controlled
now the only thing I've come to trust
is that hair gel is a must
clothes tints
my world and keep me safe from my trouble and pain

*Sage too walks to the opposite side of the stage from Mia looking contemptly at her. Rowen
then flips yet another switch (how many of these things are there?) un-freezing Ryou who looks
really dazed and confused*

Ryo: This fic's beyond me.
(Sage: What do you say when you masterbate?) Help me Mommy.
I'll be good (at what?) You'll see
Take this fic away
What's this, a plot point
I'm naked
With Ronin's cumming over me
Woo! Now I'm cumming again

*Ryo walks to the side of the stage where Mia is standing giving a glance over before cleaning
himself off and leaning against a nearby wall. Rowen then flips one of the last two remaining
switches un-freezing Sai who is wearing a kiss the cook apron*

Sai: I've been released; who wants a piece
of my pies which are deliece, my baking is all here
Let's all eat some muffins;
right now would be fantasic
It's not gas that you'll be granted
my food is just the best.

*Sai then walks over to where Sage is and offers him a cookie, and Sage politely refuses. Then
Rowen teleports in the middle of stage looking incredably dramatic.*

{Don't Dream It}

Rowen: What ever happened to the Dynasty?
Those buff men in armor
When Anubis got fried (Anubis: Hey I'm right here, Idiot)
How I started to cry
Cause I wanted to sleep with him, just the same.
Give yaself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh
Erotic nightmares, beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams to treasure forever
Can'tcha just see it? Oh, oh, ooooohh oh.

*Rowen jumps into a pool that has mysteriously appeared in the middle of the stage, landing in
a life preserver*

Don't dream it, be it
Don't dream it, be it

*Ryo, Sage, Mia, and Sai: Don't dream it, be it. *They begin heading toward the pool and
eventually jump in with only Mia hesistating before she too jumps in upon which they begin
having a massive orgy. Kaos staff falls over hitting the last switch and he too un-freezes*

Kaos: Ach, we've got to get out of this trap before this decadence saps our wills. I've got
to be strong and try to hang on,or else my mind will snap and my life will be lived for the
thrill. *Kaos looks down realizing that's he's wearing fishnets and let's out a faint sigh* Oh
fuck it.

*Meanwhile back at the water-orgy*

Ryo: *being fucked by Sage* It's inside of me. Help me Mommy.

Sai: *Being fucked by Rowen, and fondled by Mia* God bless bishonen.

{Wild and Untamed Thing}

Rowen: *Jumps on Sage's shoulders just as he pulls out of Ryou and lifts Rowen up*
My, my, my, my, my ,my ,my, my, my, my, my, my ,my
I'm a wild and untamed thing
I'm a bee with deadly sting
Ya get a hit and your minds goes ping
Ya heart'll thump and ya will blood will sing
So let the party and sounds rock on
We're gonna shake it 'til the life has gone
Sex tint my world, keep me safe from my trouble and pain

*Ryo, Mia, Sage, and Sai jump up onto stage within and begin line-dancing*

All: We're a wild and untamed thing
We're bees with a deadly sting
You get a hit and your mind goes ping
Your heart'll thump and your blood will sing
So let the party and sounds rock on
We're gonna shake it 'till the life has gone, gone gone
Sex tint our world, keep us safe from our trouble and pain

*Anubis burst through the doors leading to the stage, Kayura standing next to him*

Anubis: Rowen of the Strata, it's all over.
Your experiments are a failure
The cost is too extreme
I've always been your commander
and you are now a loser
We return to Transuburbia
Prepare to leave right now.

Rowen: *having stopped dancing now* Wait! I'm not done yet! *He then sends Mia to go run the
lights and Sage to mess with a bunch of miscellaneous switches one of which lowers the curtain
behind Rowen*

{I'm fucking stoned]

Rowen: On the day I became gay

All: Goodbye

Rowen: Was all I had to say

All: Now I

Rowen: I want cum again and stay hard (impossible, less ya a fanfic character)

All: *amazed* Oh, my my

Rowen: Smile, and that will mean I may
Cause I've flown, oh, blue skies
Through the tears, in my eyes
and I realize, I'm fucking stoned.

All: He's fucking stoned

Rowen: Everyday it's the same old thing

All: Feeling

Rowen: (What's it like to suck off Ryou?) Like I'm outside in the rain

All: Wheeling

Rowen: Free to try a find a jay

All: Dealing

Rowen: Joints for sorrow, joints for pain
Cause I've flown, oh, blue skies
through the tears in my eyes
and I realize I'm fucking stoned

Rowen and All: He's/I'm fucking stoned.

Kayura: How Sentimental.

Anubis: And also presumptious of you. You see, when I said we were to return to Transuburbia,
I was referring only to Kayura and myself. You are to remain here in spirit anyways.

Kaos: Great Heavens, that's the author

Anubis: Yes, and this author is quite irate with you speaking for him earlier.

Ryo: You mean you're gonna kill him. What's his crime?

Kaos: You saw what he did to the author, fan fic writers must be protected

Anubis: Exactly Kaos, and now Rowen, your time has come. Say goodbye to this fic, and hello to
oblivion.

*The Author stands there ready with his keyboard ready to delete and thus killing a character.
Rowen looks incredibly nervous an about to run but Mia lets out a shrill scream causing the
author to jump and hit the delete key and thus killing her. Rowen then makes a break for it
for the curtain trying to climb up hoping his amusing antics will sate the author, however the
antics just irritate the author even more and he hits the delete key sending Rowen to the
ground. Sage lets a loud scream, and looks angrily at the author.*

Sage: You bastard. I liked him. He may have had a horrible taste in fashion but you didn't
need to kill him. *Sage then picks up Rowen and begins climbing the tower, hoping that maybe
he can use his ability to summon lightening to rejuvinate Rowen. The author presses the delete
key on Sage only to realize it's stuck and keeps pressing it, till it finally unsticks itself
and sends Sage and Rowen's bodies tumbling into the pool and thus the author leaves the fic
happy with what he's done*

Ryo: Good God!

Sai: Oh! You killed them!

Kayura: I thought you liked them. They liked you.

Anubis: They didn't like me, they never liked me! *starts getting teary eyed, but recovers
when Kaos speaks*

Kaos: You did right!

Anubis: Edits had to be made

Kaos: They're ok by me

Anubis: I'm sorry about your lover.

Kaos: Kento, yes, well perhaps it was for the best (Kento: WHAT!!! Oooh..I'm gonna get you,
you old dead guy!) heh heh heh

Anubis:You should leave this fic now, Kaos, while it is still possible (Ryou: You mean it was
possible before?). We are about to beam the entire fic to the planet of Transexual in the
galaxy of Transuburbia. Go. Now.

*Kaos, Ryou, and Sai start leaving the house hoping to exit it and thus exit the fic as quickly
as possible*

Anubis: This horrible fic is almost over, my most beautiful cohort and soon we shall return to
the bishonen-drenched shores of our beloved planet.

Kayura: Sweet Tansburbia, land of beautiful boys, to sing and dance once more to their dark
refrain. To take that step to the right.

Both: Hah!

Anubis: But's the pelvic thrust

Assorted Bishonen appear: That drives you insane!

Kayura: And our world, will do the Dimensional Warp...again!

*The house lifts off, throwing Ryou, Kaos and Sai to the ground drawing attention from the
author who immediately decides to throw in an extra scene.

{Super Heroes}

Ryo: I've fucked a lot (have you ever tried to suck your own dick) god knows I've tried
To fight them off, I've even lied.
But all I know is down inside I'm

Chorus: Bleeding

Sai: And Super heroes *starts stumbling across the ground* come to feast
To taste the flesh not yet deceased
and all I know is still the beast is

Chorus: Feeding

*And they fade away from fic, leaving only Talpa's floating head*

Talpa: And crawling on the planet's face (what did you eat for breakfast) some insects, (why is
your phone bill so large) called the human race.
(Where's your body) lost in time (what's your favorite sci-fi show) lost in space, (what
does this fic lack) and meaning.

Chorus: Meaning

*Talpa then too fades away from the fic only leaving an eerie voice singing a quiet song*

{Science Fiction/Ronin Feature Reprise}

Dais: Science Fiction, Ronin Feature
Rowen has built and
lost his creature
Darkness has conquered
Ryou and Torrent
The servants gone to
another fanfic
Wo oh oh oh
At the late night, Ronin Warrior
Picture Show
I want to go
To the late night, Ronin Warrior
Picture Show.

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